Photos: Proof Denver and Colorado are happier, smarter and more drunk than the rest

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Denver is the sixth least wasteful city
The 2009 Nalgene Least Wasteful Cities Study, conducted by the Earth-conscious bottle makers at Nalgene, surveyed (very few) people about how much they drive, recycle, and do other things that affect the sustainability of their cities. Denver ranked sixth, behind San Francisco, New York, Seattle, Portland and, oddly, Los Angeles. You wouldn't think all those actors switching to canvas bags could make up for the waste caused by the many millions of miles driven in the Sweeping Concrete Wasteland by the Sea. (2009).
Denver is the sixth-happiest city
McDonald's -- a national hamburger chain known for helping our children get super fat for decades -- considers Denver one of America's happiest cities for families.

I have absolutely no idea what this means -- I can only assume it's that we're always nice to the Hamburglar when we see him in the mall. (2009)

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts