Politics

Photos: Seven new DIA train greetings Michael Hancock should record

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Number 5: Pot tourists "This is Mayor Michael Hancock and I'd like to extend a warm Denver welcome to pot tourists. We hope that our rules allowing you to purchase one ounce of marijuana -- but not to smoke it in public or in the airport -- makes us the perfect host for your, uh, trip." Number 4: Fracking lobbyists "This is Mayor Michael Hancock and I'd like to extend a warm Denver welcome to out-of-state fracking lobbyists. We hope that our plentiful shale and angry citizens makes us the perfect place for you to drink fracking fluid with Governor John Hickenlooper." Number 3: Weather-weary tourists "This is Mayor Michael Hancock and I'd like to extend a warm Denver welcome to all residents of other states. Please me cautious of fires, floods, tornadoes, June blizzards, hail, mudslides, minor earthquakes, e coli in the reservoirs and Miller moths." Continue to keep counting down seven new DIA train greetings Michael Hancock should record.
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Jonathan Shikes is a Denver native who writes about business and beer for Westword.
Contact: Jonathan Shikes