Early last year, we introduced those of you not already in the know to Denver Circlejerk, a Reddit forum on which users share items ranging from legitimate questions to bizarre non sequiturs that make often make no sense -- probably even to the person who posted them in the first place.
We gravitate toward the latter in the following roundup, which gathers some of the strangest recent items -- including tributes to DIA's blue Mustang, Casa Bonita and more. Count down our top picks below.
Edit omg you guys are so awesome. I've decided to be a Franciscan monk and join the navy. Thanks for all the advice and the flowers
second edit. OMG thank you so much for the life size portrait of that chick from saved by the bell!
third edit the navy apparently has an issue with the horse as well. FML
4th edit it has been confirmed that these previous edits were completed at the same time rendering their sequence and validity suspect.
I hate the people, I hate the customers, and I hate the company. How soon can I expect to be promoted?
Continue to keep counting down the ten weirdest posts on Reddit's Denver Circlejerk, 2014 edition. Number 8: Can't find my keys... can anyone help me?
After I came home my keys were gone. Mostly used to get into my house and start my car -- silver, has a black end with some snaggle teeth on it (really pretty ugly). The last time I saw them I had come back from getting some munchies as I was really high, I'd say it was around like 4:25. I'm almost positive that I put them on the table but now I just can't remember. I checked in the door already, duh, I'm not a stupid stoner.
Please get back to me if anyone finds them in their couch.
Here is an example of what they DO NOT look like... Edit: They were in my door. I could have swore that I checked there.
I totally want to surprise my pet rock with an animal it has never seen before in an environment the animal is unfamiliar with. I will pick it up, let it shit all over my apartment and then blame you, but most of all you can trust me because this is the Internet.
Oh it must be good with Komodo dragons, feral dogs, my asshole ex-wife's step children, and be 420 friendly.
I won't give you shit and won't tell you where I live either so you won't get your animal back.
Continue to keep counting down the ten weirdest posts on Reddit's Denver Circlejerk, 2014 edition. Number 6: OMG ***THE HIGHWAY!!*** JESUS MUTHERFUKIN CHRIST THEY'RE SELLING IT OFF TO THE CORPORATIONS!!!
EVIL CORPORATIONS THAT WILL LITERALLY SKULLFUCK US WITH TOLLS ALL THE WAY FROM DENVER TO BOULDER AND BACK!!! WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK ARE WE GONNA DO NOW??????????????????????????????????? PLZ HALP PLZ
I'm tired of seeing all these trucks and SUVs drive slowly on the highways. Just put the pedal to the metal, you have 4WD, you'll be fine. Stop going 30 MPH on the highway, I left my house 10 minutes late and its your fault.
Continue to keep counting down the ten weirdest posts on Reddit's Denver Circlejerk, 2014 edition. Number 4: Someone help me cut a bike lock off?
It's one of those U-Lock kind. I called a locksmith, but I couldn't prove it was my bike, so he left. Can someone bring me a hacksaw or bolt cutters? I'm in Lakewood.
Please help! There are only 750 left, soon to be 749 :( This pic is us playing in the yard the day we first met.
Continue to keep counting down the ten weirdest posts on Reddit's Denver Circlejerk, 2014 edition. Number 2: 50 year old woman, reformed convict/sex offender, looking for housing. PS I read the FAQ
Preferably someplace with children. I have cleaned up my act but I want to be around kids so I can test myself every day. Preferably close to a church too so I can take place in youth groups and take kids on camping trips. Also a list of schools in the area would help greatly.
Number 1: Just saw this on FB. You know it's true.
Send your story tips to the author, Michael Roberts.
More from our Lists & Weirdness archive circa February 2013: "Photos: Ten funniest posts on Redditt's Denver Circlejerk."
Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.