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Photos: Top ten worst dates in Denver

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Number 6: Like a virgin "I went out for a date a little more than a decade ago with this 'Modern Indian Alpha Male.' My poor mum was hoping that I would consent to an arranged marriage. To please her, I agreed to see this ape.

Within minutes of our drive to a fancy restaurant in Bombay, I was told that I was assertive, spoke funny for an Indian, was too independent, and then proceeded to woo me with MTV hits from the late 80's and 90's -- one would've had to have known what Indian MTV was like to appreciate the irony. I am into heavy metal, the bloke played cheesy, boring Madonna's and whatever the 'cool' sappy love song was hot at that moment -- I distinctly remember Bryan Adams. UGH!

Then I was asked if I loved cooking, breeding and being a dutiful daughter-in-law. Would I be okay if we had children immediately after we got married? Oh, and coup de grace -- was I a virgin? Because after our fist night as husband and wife, my mother-in-law would come to inspect the bed to make sure there were ample proof that I was one. Then I was offered a soft drink, while he had a whiskey and soda. So bloody surreal.

Mind you, by this time, I was eager to cut short my holiday and take the next flight back to France.

I hailed the waiter, got a glass of bubbly, the cheque (I paid) and walked off.

Number 5: Holy obligations "Mine was this guy who decided to take (more like ambush) me to his church which was really an empty store in a strip mall with a circle of plastic chairs and people speaking in tongues. I was apparently the center of attention because someone told them all they'd get toasters for converting me or something, but also had to dodge the laser beams of hate from his family's eyes. They didn't like that he brought a date to church.... I guess I'm not the only one who was uncomfortable with that.

"I was finally ready to walk home after the many requests to take me home were ignored, but he gave in at last. And yes, he actually asked me if I wanted to go again. I didn't even get a glass of water."

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts

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