4. A Used Mattress From the Brown Palace
Granted, the used mattresses from here are far preferable to the ones from Moscow's Ritz-Carlton.
The Brown Palace is a legendary hotel in Denver, with a storied history and a reputation for luxury and comfort and mattresses the likes of which would please even the greediest and most insatiable government official. Wait — a bed made of solid gold wouldn’t be considered an over-the-top expenditure as long as the mattress was used, right? Okay. Just checking.
3. A Blindfold for the Big Blue Bear
Scott Pruitt does not approve of any scrutiny, ursine or otherwise.
You know, so he couldn't peek into the Colorado Convention Center during the Western Conservative Summit. Pruitt couldn't be too careful, since he left his soundproof phone booth back in D.C., and that bear looks none too trustworthy.
2. A Casa Bonita Franchise for His Wife
Granted, the Pruitt casa may be less bonita.
Pruitt and his wife, Marlyn, have been on the lookout for a “potential business opportunity” because they’re both entrepreneurs, and they’re going to have to do something to make money once this whole usury-of-American-government thing comes to an end. They can only sell fancy pens on eBay for so long before those run out, and that Chick-fil-A gambit
1. To Change the EPA Acronym
Also, those signs are going to be pretty expensive to replace.
“Extravagant Public Abuse” has a nice ring...