Sorry, really wrong number

Ringy-dingy. Several times a day, I'll answer my direct line at the office, only to be told that the nonexistent warrantee on my vehicle is about to expire and I should press "1" if I want to extend it. At least once a day, I'll answer my direct line at...

By Patricia Calhoun

October 7, 2008

Audio By Carbonatix

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Ringy-dingy.

Several times a day, I'll answer my direct line at the office, only to be told that the nonexistent warrantee on my vehicle is about to expire and I should press "1" if I want to extend it.

At least once a day, I'll answer my direct line at the office and learn that I can get a $750 alarm system for free if I just let the company put a sign in my yard, and that I should press "1" if I want to accept. I might do it if I thought the alarm could warn me about those warrantee calls.

And one day last week, I answered my direct line at the office and heard: "We're calling about your credit cards, and if you want a better rate, you should press '1.'" I did, and asked the man who answered what company he was with. "Consumer Credit for MasterCard and Visa," he responded.

"Can I get a number so that I can call you back?" I asked.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I work at a newspaper and I'd like to do a story about your service."

Click.

That answer could work better at warning off pests than any $750 alarm. -- Patricia Calhoun

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Patricia Calhoun is editor-in-chief of Westword, the alt-weekly she co-founded in September 1977. She’s been inducted into the Colorado Press Association Hall of Fame, the Association of Alternative Newsmedia Hall of Fame and the Colorado Restaurant Association Hall of Fame. She’s also received dozens of local, state and national awards for writing, including first place for feature writing and first place for column writing with the Society of Professional Journalists. Patricia is a weekly commentator on Colorado Inside Out, PBS 12's public affairs roundtable, which has won two Emmys.

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