Ten Types of Lyft Passengers You Meet in Denver

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When you're out driving all day and night, you end up picking people up from a booty call. You can usually tell by their self-satisfied smile and the stench that takes five rides with the windows down and a dozen Febreze squirts to completely eliminate. For some reason, many of these people like to tell the whole story of their night. Please just tell your roommates.
6. The Out-of-Towners
It's always fun to drive someone from DIA to downtown for the first time. Where can you buy weed? Everywhere. Where can you smoke it? Legally nowhere. But practically everywhere. Where's the best food, where do people hang? I love it here! It's so sunny! How far away are the mountains? It always filled me with nostalgia to talk to these people, because I was doing the same thing four and a half years ago.

7. The Antsy Passengers
These people are going somewhere important, like an interview or a funeral. The weight of the moment hangs heavy in the air. One passenger passed the time popping Xanax on her way to drink cocktails before meeting her partner's parents for the first time. I found the best tactic for these types was to agree with absolutely everything they said and to offer them handfuls of mints.

8. The Needy
For some, a simple ride from point A to point B is not enough. They need you to stop for beer, pizza and whatever else they can think of while they're out. At first I didn't know the rules, so I stopped whenever a passenger would ask me to. The first time this happened, I thought I was part of something illegal. There was a couple in the back seat, and when the man got out to go the liquor store, the woman told me to turn the music up as high as I could stand it. The man came out clearly packing something extra hidden in his clothes, and I either thought it was stolen booze or a gun he was going to use to hold me up. Alas, the moment passed, and there was in fact no danger. Another person grew angry with me when I wouldn't stop for fast food because the line was too long. “But I have kids!” she said. Sometimes Lyft drivers have to make difficult decisions, like letting kids starve. Hey, no one said it was easy.

9. The Concert-goers
Taking someone, or a group of people, to a concert isn't bad. Those passengers are somewhat sober. Picking them up is where the fun starts. Heading to the 1STBANK Center after an EDM show is a surefire way to get a better understanding of what ecstasy does to a young person's brain. Do not listen to their advice or make stops for them, as their attention span is lacking and they will probably forget you're outside waiting.

10. The Sketchy Ones

You don't really know what they're plotting until a few minutes down the road. They're quiet, shifty and seemingly just left a domestic dispute with their lover/former lover. You're just praying you're not going to get stabbed. They're quick to anger and quick to point out wrong turns. You feel very relieved once you've dropped these passengers off.
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