Commentary

Ten Ways You Can Tell That Spring Has Sprung in Denver

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5. Dog Poop
Contrary to popular belief, dogs do actually defecate during the winter months. When the snow melts out of the parks, the sidewalks and your back yard, you’ll see plenty of evidence.  If you want to let your canine pal run free like nature intended, check out one of Denver's many awesome dog parks, where poop is expected and there are enough baggies for everyone.

4. Rockies Fans Are Not Yet Disappointed
Hope springs eternal, right? And hope for the Colorado Rockies is never stronger than in the early days of spring, in the time leading up to Opening Day. Once the Rockies take the field, of course, things generally start going downhill. Here are the five stages of Rockies grief: Denial (“Last season was a fluke!”); Anger (“Are you serious? We still don’t have a decent pitcher?”); Bargaining (“I’m not going to another game until they start winning.”); Depression (“Why do I even keep buying tickets?”); and, finally, Acceptance (“Well, this season sucked. Maybe it was a fluke?”) And so the cycle continues. At least until the brain trust that is the Dick Monfort team decides to change our coaching staff — which sadly isn't happening in 2016.

3. 4/20
We take back what we said in the intro: In Colorado, the green springing up everywhere definitely includes pot. Spring is that time of year when the consumption of marijuana heads outdoors, and that makes spring (and summer, and fall) the season of the contact high. Pot is on back porches, at concerts and definitely at Denver’s annual 4/20 rally at Civic Center Park, which gets bigger every year. So big, in fact, that organizers asked for help this year in making it even more successful. (Note: the rally is actually on 4/16 this year.)
2. Street Sweeping Starts Again
It’s Denver’s gift to you: Move your car by 8 a.m., or get a parking ticket in front of your own damn house. Look, we all like clean streets. We get why it's important. But still, "Apr thru Nov"…how we all hate you one day a month.

1. The Forecast Calls for 2 to 4 Inches of Snow
And by 2 to 4 inches, we mean a completely random amount that could be 2 to 24 inches. Thanks, Colorado weather!

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Teague Bohlen is a writer, novelist and professor at the University of Colorado Denver. His first novel, The Pull of the Earth, won the Colorado Book Award for Literary Fiction in 2007; his textbook The Snarktastic Guide to College Success came out in 2014. His new collection of flash fiction, Flatland, is available now.
Contact: Teague Bohlen