If you haven't heard the 911 call made last Thursday by Balloon Boy mom Mayumi Heene, with husband Richard Heene chiming in, you owe it to yourself to justify the time you wasted wondering if futurenational-TV puker Falcon Heene
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would be all right by wasting a little bit more. The pause when one operator tells another that the case involves a "flying saucer" is priceless, as is the second woman's deadpan tone as she methodically extracts information from Mayumi, whose (mock?) hysterics make her practically incoherent. In contrast, Richard comes across like a highly articulate mental patient as he describes the million volts that supposedly pulse out of the craft, among other bizarre special features. Best of all, though, is the casual mention that twenty minutes have passed since the balloon took off. If your kid floated away, would you wait even twenty
to call the authorities? Maybe -- but only if you wanted to make sure that saucer would really fly...