We're also sure that Bill would have lots of company in Bad Boyfriend Jail. To prove it, we've compiled a list of Ten Other Bad Boyfriends. Ladies, be warned.
10. Quincy Vanderbilt Quincy Vanderbilt is not only a bad boyfriend, he's also the world's worst pet-sitter.
Last year, the 24-year-old and his girlfriend drove from North Dakota to Denver so she could try out for American Idol at Invesco Field. His girlfriend brought along her terrier, and good ol' Quincy agreed to check on it while she no doubt waited to impress the Idol judges with her rendition of Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats."
But Quincy didn't come through. Instead, he left the dog in the car with all of the windows rolled up, which killed the terrier and earned Quincy one count of animal cruelty. It's a good thing his girlfriend didn't bring along her kids, too.
9. Alan Baxter Or leave them with Alan Baxter. In 2008, twenty-year-old Alan of Denver left his girlfriend's three-year-old daughter inside a locked car while he drank beer and handed one-dollar bills to strippers inside Shotgun Willie's strip club.The kicker? That money was supposed to go toward buying a Happy Meal for the little girl.
A manager at the Fascinations sex shop next to Shotgun Willie's noticed the toddler alone in the car and called the police. Luckily, the girl was not harmed, just "very hungry." For his part, Alan admitted to the cops that leaving the three-year-old in the car was "very stupid." That's an understatement, Alan -- and a giant warning for other single moms to stay away from Mr. Baxter.
8. Ruffin Griffin Ruffin Griffin is either the best kind of boyfriend or the worst, depending on how you feel about threesomes. Last year, 28-year-old Griffin apparently okayed a threesome between his wife, thirty-year-old Serena Brooks, and Clint Cadigan, a 27-year-old that the happy Niwot couple may or may not have met at a bar.
But the rendezvous turned ugly. Ruffin and Clint began fighting, and Serena settled the fight in the gentlest way possible: by stabbing both her husband and their third in the back. The men wound up at the hospital together, and Serena wound up in jail.
But that doesn't mean Ruffin is blame-free. Dude, if you're going to invite another man into bed with you and your wife, at least have the courtesy to work out your differences with words, not fists. Or fists, if that's what you're into.
7. Brandon Marshall Brandon Marshall is a big, bad football star. He's also a big, bad boyfriend. As a 2009 piece for ESPN's Outside the Lines illustrates, Brandon's ex-girlfriend, Rasheeda Watley, called the police on him multiple times for all sorts of nasty stuff, including punching her in the chin and cutting her on the thigh.Lucky for Denver, Brandon's been traded to the Miami Dolphins. Good riddance.
6. Chad Allen No, not that Chad Allen, of Our House and My Two Dads fame. Twenty-two-year-old Chad Allen of Golden, whose claim to fame is a bit more bizarre.
Earlier this month, Chad walked into the New Panda restaurant in Golden, pulled out a replica 9mm Beretta and pointed it at employees and passersby. Turns out that Chad was drunk, and he told the cops it was because he and his girlfriend had broken up.
So ladies, stay away from Chad Allen of Golden. Because if you break his heart, he might shoot an innocent bystander -- make that an innocent bystander with a mouthful of chicken lo mein -- and blame it on you, you evil succubus.
5. Bryan Beck It's unclear if Bryan Beck played a role last year in binding his shiba inu puppy, Rex, in hair ties, wrapping him in packing tape and affixing him upside-down to a refrigerator. His then-girlfriend, Abby Toll, was convicted of animal cruelty earlier this month.A police report stated that Abby bound the dog -- who survived and was adopted by another family -- to get back at Bryan because he paid more attention to Rex than to her. Abby's lawyers tried to argue that she was the victim of "ongoing" domestic violence by Bryan -- and that the violence caused her to go crazy.
If that's true, Bryan is a terrible boyfriend. If it's not true, he's still a terrible dog owner -- which makes him all the less date-able.
4. Alphonso McDaniels It's one thing to date a guy who's got your back, who would stick up for you if some random drunk dude grabbed your ass at a bar. It's another thing to date a guy who would stab your soon-to-be ex-husband in the parking lot of the Arapahoe County District Courthouse before your divorce hearing.
But that's exactly what thirty-year-old Alphonso McDaniels did, earning him a spot on our bad boyfriends list. Here's a tip, boys: Stay away from your girlfriend's divorce hearings. That's just asking for trouble.
3. Tim Tebow He's hunky. He won the Heisman Trophy. And he loves his mom. Who wouldn't want to date brand-new Bronco Tim Tebow?Anyone who wants to get laid, that's who. Tim is saving himself for marriage, according to the Catholic News Agency. So while he might be a perfect match for Lady Gaga, he'd be a bad boyfriend for anyone who likes to ride the disco stick.
2. Travis Henry Former Bronco Travis Henry is fertile. He's also broke and in jail for cocaine trafficking, which makes him unable to pay the tens of thousands of dollars in child support he owes to the ten different mothers of his eleven children. (One of his girlfriends had twins.) Those factors also make him a bad boyfriend -- and a prime candidate for male birth control.
1. Jon Gosselin We know he's not from Denver. But, seriously, do not date that guy.
