Top 10 jokes not to tell on an airplane -- especially if you're Qatar diplomat Mohammed Al-Madadi

How the hell did Colorado become the go-to state for bizarre terrorism-related incidents or scares?

First, there was Najibbullah Zazi, who allegedly tried to make lethal weapons from ingredients at a local beauty supply store. Next came Jamie Paulin-Ramirez, aka Jihad Jamie, a Leadville mom accused of being a jihadi wannabe with a death wish for a Swedish cartoonist. And now, we have Qatar diplomat Mohammed Al-Madadi, who reportedly sparked a jet-scrambling mid-air panic after sneaking a smoke in the bathroom of a United flight and then joking that he'd been trying to light his shoes.

For the record, pal, it's not a good idea to crack wise about blowing up a plane while you're on one -- although, admittedly, some lines are more likely to cause a freak-out than others. Here's our top ten to avoid:

10. "These explosive underpants are really starting to chafe..."

9. "Isn't it ironic that they sat me in seat C-4?"

8. "That's not a pump on my Air Jordans. It's a plunger."

7. "I'm living proof that those whole-body imagers don't pick up everything..."

6. "Hey, hundred virgins waiting in the afterlife: Here I come!"

5. "You should have saved yourself some money and bought a one-way ticket."

4. "These shoelaces double as wicks."

3. "If they keep raising the baggage charges, I may have to start blowing up things on the ground."

2. "I'm going to miss those honey-roasted peanuts."

1. "Bombs away!"

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts