Videos: Peyton Manning's top five ways of losing his sh*t

New Broncos' quarterback Peyton Manning has come across as cool, calm and collected since his signing. But don't be fooled: Manning is among the most expressive players in the NFL -- one who doesn't mask his reactions when things go wrong. Below, we've collected videos counting down his top five ways of displaying his displeasure, with number one being an all-time classic.

5. Stunned Disappointment As you can see by the title of this video, Peyton haters -- and yes, there are plenty of them -- accuse him of pouting, but that's not quite right. At moments like these, a daze comes over him. Given the scope of his talents, he goes into each play expecting it to work out brilliantly, and when the occasional one doesn't, he seems dumbfounded by the discovery that fate can sometimes turn against him.

The rest of you Broncos should take this video as a warning: Don't do anything to make Peyton sad!

Page down to continue our countdown of Peyton Manning losing his shit. 4. The Bitch is Back Manning isn't above complaining. Far from it. When he disagrees with a referee's call, he's been known to react as if the man in the striped shirt has just violated Blind Justice in unspeakable ways. His reactions have inspired the term "Manning face," which ESPN's Bill Simmons has described as a blend of frustration and disgust.

In honor of said expressions, the makers of this video reworked Lady Gaga's "Poker Face." The lyrics start like so:

He is the QB that we all just love to hate We wanna see him lose because he's just so friggin' great (That jackass) So when he fails at football he really likes to scream and pout His expressions when he sucks are what Sundays are all about

Page down to continue our countdown of Peyton Manning losing his shit. 3. Verbal Ejaculation When Manning is before the microphones at press conferences, he's thoughtful and controlled, parsing each syllable as it falls from his lips. But in the heat of the moment, he's much more likely to express himself freely.

Here's a memorable example, captured during one of the many games during which Manning wore a mic. As the play breaks down, you can hear him placing blame on a fellow Indianapolis Colts teammate -- and like an angry father, he uses the full name: "Goddamn it, Donald Brown!"

Page down to continue our countdown of Peyton Manning losing his shit. 2. Total Contempt Obviously, Manning's gifts on the football field can do serious damage -- but his words can be weapons as well, especially when he feels he's been done wrong. An example cropped up after the Colts were eliminated in the first round of the 2002 playoffs. Afterward, kicker Mike Vanderjagt had less than complimentary things to say about Manning and coach Tony Dungy. But Peyton got his revenge during a Pro Bowl chat, when he described Vanderjagt as "our idiot kicker, who got liquored up and ran his mouth off."

It's funny because it's true.

Page down to continue our countdown of Peyton Manning losing his shit. 1. Thermonuclear Meltdown Yes, Manning has lost it at times -- every last bit of it, in fact. The most famous target of his ire was center Jeff Saturday during a game against the Rams. Behold the fury and be amazed.

Although Saturday and Manning are pals, he still opted to sign with the Green Bay Packers rather than following Peyton to Denver. Apparently, Aaron Rogers is a lot less scary.

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More from our Sports archive: "Peyton Manning: Top Ten things non-sports fans should know about him."

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts