Denver is in a tizzy over coyotes. Greenwood Village wants to shoot them. Denver wants to talk them to death, and will host a meeting Thursday to do just that.
And not a moment too soon, apparently, because on Saturday evening, a 51-year-old woman walking a 75-pound lab near her home in the 3900 block of South Oneida reported that she and her pet were attacked by three coyotes.
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That incident prompted the Colorado Division of Wildlife to send the following advice (highlights theirs) for "If a Coyote Approaches You."
1. Be as Big, Mean and Loud as possible.
2. Wave your arms and throw objects at the coyote.
3. Shout in a deep, loud and authoritative voice.
4. DO NOT RUN or turn your back on the coyote.
5. Face the coyote and back away slowly.
6. If attacked, fight back with your fists and feet.
But if coyotes are such a scourge, what about the cougars preying on the innocent young men of this city? What to do "If a Cougar Approaches You"?
1. Be as Big, Boyish and Loud as possible.
2. Take off your jacket, wave your arms and show off your abs.
3. Speak in a deep, loud and authoritative voice.
4. DO NOT RUN or turn your back on the cougar.
5. Face the cougar and approach slowly.
6. If attacked, surrender -- after getting a look at her credit cards.