Given the number of serious crimes that are committed in these parts, shoplifters don't typically get a great deal of attention. But a man wanted in Jefferson County is an exception to this rule, thanks to the volume of thefts he's allegedly committed, but also for what he's accused of snatching.
The list of items paints a portrait of an overweight, balding, dentally and digestively challenged guy who nonetheless has hopes of scoring -- or why else would he have grabbed those condoms?
According to the Jefferson County Sheriff's Office, the man has a thing for Walgreens outlets. On April 10, he's said to have hit two of the company's stores -- one in Arvada, where he got away with merchandise valued at $2,000, and another in Golden that he relieved of $600 in items.
Then, the next day, he allegedly robbed four Walgreens in south Jeffco, netting himself another $2,600 worth of stuff.
What did he take during the last quartet of jobs? Here's the JCSO roster: Teeth-whitening strips, Alli weight loss pills, Rogaine and other hair growth products, Renew Life probiotics and condoms.
Because once all that tartar is off his teeth, he drops a few pounds, his hair is growing like penicillin on soggy bread and his stomach is settled, he'll be flat-out irresistible to the opposite sex. Look out, ladies!
The man is described as a black male in his late thirties to mid-forties with short dark hair and a neatly groomed mustache and beard. During at least some of the jobs, he wore gray slacks, a gray sweater, a blue dress shirt and a red tie, and he carried a black coat that was presumably used to hide his ill-gotten gains. Cops speculate that the coat may actually have a false liner or bag, since he carried it in over his arm on the way in only to leave with it slung over his shoulder, Santa's-toy-sack-style.
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One other technique: He purchased a DVD when entering the stores, possibly so that when the door alarm activated, the clerks would assume the movie had triggered it, and not a Durex Pleasure Pack.
Look below to see three surveillance photos of the suspect. If you recognize him, phone the Jeffco Sheriff's Office tip line at 303-271-5612.
More from our Colorado Crimes archive: "Richard Troupe charged with dropping trou at Burger King, asking staffer to hold his Whopper."