What's in a Name?

Only the kind of deep-rooted cynicysm found in the souls of suburban developers can explain how one could plow over a magnificent Aspen grove in favor of cookie-cutter McMansions and then name the resulting subdivision something like The Grove at Aspen Ridge. The same kind of logic would dictate that a sprawling "gated community" that wiped out fox dens near a creek would be dubbed Fox Den By the Creek.

But what's a poor housing megacorp to do when a location's previous state doesn't suggest an appropriate handle? Let provide the answer. The site describes itself as a "comprehensive overview and photographic tour of all urban infill and redevelopment projects in the greater Downtown Denver area" -- but that's not all it contains. One page of its blog features a "Guide to Suburban Denver Subdivision Names," complete with a handy satirical chart that offers a simple formula for developers to use prior to undertaking their next round of marketing efforts. "Simply read from left to right, and select any one word from each column," the site's author advises. "Hundreds of combinations are possible! Mix and match to find just the right name for your mountain paradise on the grassy plain."

It's cynical subdivision-naming made easy. -- Jared Jacang Maher

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Michael Roberts has written for Westword since October 1990, serving stints as music editor and media columnist. He currently covers everything from breaking news and politics to sports and stories that defy categorization.
Contact: Michael Roberts