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Best Next Job for Wellington Webb

Ambassador to China

You might well wonder why Denver is the first American city to have a trade office in China; we certainly have. Nonetheless, Mayor Wellington Webb recently took a fifty-member entourage on a trade mission to Shanghai -- despite the fact that local companies doing business with China already have offices there and thus don't need Denver taxpayers to subsidize them; despite the fact that the Chinese have the most abysmal human-rights record on slavery; and despite the fact that Webb really has plenty to occupy him back here in Denver. There can only be one explanation: With his third term almost up and a Washington, D.C., post in the George W. Bush White House looking less likely, it's time for our mayor to go global. As Ambassador to China, Wellington would truly be the World Wide Webb.

Best Cultural Rest Stop

The courtyard between the Denver Central Library and the Denver Art Museum

The clouds are lifting, and sunshine is teasing you through the tiny window in your fluorescently lit office. It's time to grab your sack lunch -- or a jumbo dog from the cart at the corner of 13th Avenue and Broadway -- and head for the haven of solar-heated brick and concrete that stretches between the main branch of the Denver Public Library and the Denver Art Museum. This is no ordinary relaxation spot, though. It's a cultural courtyard where you can check out a literary tome from the library or just lean back and admire the funky sculptures around you. Whatever you do here, it's sure to provide a refreshing bit of inspiration to your harried work day.

Best Cultural Rest Stop

The courtyard between the Denver Central Library and the Denver Art Museum

The clouds are lifting, and sunshine is teasing you through the tiny window in your fluorescently lit office. It's time to grab your sack lunch -- or a jumbo dog from the cart at the corner of 13th Avenue and Broadway -- and head for the haven of solar-heated brick and concrete that stretches between the main branch of the Denver Public Library and the Denver Art Museum. This is no ordinary relaxation spot, though. It's a cultural courtyard where you can check out a literary tome from the library or just lean back and admire the funky sculptures around you. Whatever you do here, it's sure to provide a refreshing bit of inspiration to your harried work day.

Best Bathroom Campaigner

Dennis Gallagher

Denver city councilman Dennis Gallagher knew that politics could stink; he just didn't know how bad -- not until he attended a high school graduation party in Denver's Rocky Mountain Park and was shocked to find raw sewage backed up in the bathroom. And so last year, Gallagher named himself outhouse overlord for the privies in Denver's parks. Since then, he's investigated public restrooms in a number of parks and put pressure on the city's Department of Parks and Recreation to clean up its act in other ways. Just call him number one on number two.

Best Bathroom Campaigner

Dennis Gallagher

Denver city councilman Dennis Gallagher knew that politics could stink; he just didn't know how bad -- not until he attended a high school graduation party in Denver's Rocky Mountain Park and was shocked to find raw sewage backed up in the bathroom. And so last year, Gallagher named himself outhouse overlord for the privies in Denver's parks. Since then, he's investigated public restrooms in a number of parks and put pressure on the city's Department of Parks and Recreation to clean up its act in other ways. Just call him number one on number two.

Best Next Job for Wilma Webb

Mayor of Denver

During husband Wellington Webb's ten years (and counting) as Denver's mayor, Wilma Webb was always by his side -- even when she was doing double duty as regional secretary of the Department of Labor. As the self-proclaimed First Lady of Denver, she's seen it all -- and no doubt said it all to Wellington, weighing in on the city's civic and cultural affairs. Isn't it time for the power behind the throne to take a seat? And we're not talking Diana DeGette's congressional seat, which Wilma reportedly is eyeing. The Queen City needs a Queen. All hail Her Honor.

Best Next Job for Wilma Webb

Mayor of Denver

During husband Wellington Webb's ten years (and counting) as Denver's mayor, Wilma Webb was always by his side -- even when she was doing double duty as regional secretary of the Department of Labor. As the self-proclaimed First Lady of Denver, she's seen it all -- and no doubt said it all to Wellington, weighing in on the city's civic and cultural affairs. Isn't it time for the power behind the throne to take a seat? And we're not talking Diana DeGette's congressional seat, which Wilma reportedly is eyeing. The Queen City needs a Queen. All hail Her Honor.

Best New Kitsch Landmark

The Delicate Arch

When an amusement complex's very name acknowledges that it's in the Boondocks -- in this case, deepest, darkest Northglenn -- it deserves a fitting monument. Something impressive. Something for the ages. Something like a life-sized replica of Utah's Delicate Arch -- which, instead of spanning stunning red-rocks country, here rises 54 feet above a parking lot just off I-25 alongside the brand-spanking-new Boondocks Fun Center. It's impressive, all right -- just the sort of symbol that tells you to slam on the breaks for video games and French fries. But what's even more noteworthy about the arch is that this isn't the first one the fun center's owners have built: A Boondocks in Boise boasts an identical landmark.

Best New Kitsch Landmark

The Delicate Arch

When an amusement complex's very name acknowledges that it's in the Boondocks -- in this case, deepest, darkest Northglenn -- it deserves a fitting monument. Something impressive. Something for the ages. Something like a life-sized replica of Utah's Delicate Arch -- which, instead of spanning stunning red-rocks country, here rises 54 feet above a parking lot just off I-25 alongside the brand-spanking-new Boondocks Fun Center. It's impressive, all right -- just the sort of symbol that tells you to slam on the breaks for video games and French fries. But what's even more noteworthy about the arch is that this isn't the first one the fun center's owners have built: A Boondocks in Boise boasts an identical landmark.

Best Media Manipulator

Jon Caldara
President, Independence Institute

Former RTD chair and current Independence Institute head Jon Caldara has wrangled more air time and ink for his conservative causes -- not to mention himself -- than any other politico in town. That's because he not only understands the media, he's willing to feed the beast -- anytime and anywhere. Reporters and editors may not all agree with Caldara's viewpoints, but they give him an opportunity to espouse them for a simple reason: He isn't dull.

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