Best Proof That We're Living in a Small Town 2004 | Tower Road message board | Best of Denver® | Best Restaurants, Bars, Clubs, Music and Stores in Denver | Westword
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Best Proof That We're Living in a Small Town

Tower Road message board

This past summer, the stretch of Tower Road between Hampden and Iliff avenues had become a notorious speedway. To encourage drivers to slow down, Sergeant Dan Courtenay, a twenty-year veteran of the Aurora Police Department, started posting cautionary warnings on an electronic message board that had previously been used to announce construction delays. Among the best:

Please drive safely

Life is too short

to spend in court.

And this instant classic:

Stop road rage.

Play Jimmy Buffett

songs in your car.

Best Proof That We're Living in a Small Town

Tower Road message board

This past summer, the stretch of Tower Road between Hampden and Iliff avenues had become a notorious speedway. To encourage drivers to slow down, Sergeant Dan Courtenay, a twenty-year veteran of the Aurora Police Department, started posting cautionary warnings on an electronic message board that had previously been used to announce construction delays. Among the best:

Please drive safely

Life is too short

to spend in court.

And this instant classic:

Stop road rage.

Play Jimmy Buffett

songs in your car.

Second-Best Proof That We're Living in a Small Town

Tauer Road

In appreciation of the new era of metropolitan cooperation that dawned with the election of two new metro mayors, Denver mayor John Hickenlooper temporarily changed the name of the road separating northeast Denver from northwest Aurora from Tower to Tauer Road, to honor previous Aurora mayor Ed Tauer and current Aurora mayor Ed Tauer Jr.

Second-Best Proof That We're Living in a Small Town

Tauer Road

In appreciation of the new era of metropolitan cooperation that dawned with the election of two new metro mayors, Denver mayor John Hickenlooper temporarily changed the name of the road separating northeast Denver from northwest Aurora from Tower to Tauer Road, to honor previous Aurora mayor Ed Tauer and current Aurora mayor Ed Tauer Jr.

Best Ode to Empty Space

Robert Bach, Grubb & Ellis

Robert Bach, national director of market analysis for Grubb & Ellis, appeared at an annual industrial- and office-property owners' meeting in Denver to deliver the bad news about this city's commercial-vacancy rate, which isn't expected to reach 10 percent until 2008. And that's going down. To soften the blow, he offered this song:

At the start of '03, landlords knew

it would be rough.

Tenants large and small,

there just weren't enough.

Yet the construction pipeline kept

delivering new space,

While leasing and absorption

could not keep pace . . .

Office landlords suffered and moaned,

but there was a silver lining.

Low interest rates and roller-coaster stocks

kept buyers pining

For Class A buildings with solid

rent rolls

And little rollover risk, that would be

investor's gold.

But what of '04, what does our crystal ball

tell us?

The market will improve, but not enough

to make tenants jealous

Of landlords (who) won't have much

bargaining power

Until 2005, when the market will be

less dour

So tenants make your best deals soon,

Lock in long-term low rates and whistle

a happy tune.

In 2004, landlords, you will begin to

climb out of your hole,

And you'll all feel better in 2005

When the Broncos win the Super Bowl.

Best Ode to Empty Space

Robert Bach, Grubb & Ellis

Robert Bach, national director of market analysis for Grubb & Ellis, appeared at an annual industrial- and office-property owners' meeting in Denver to deliver the bad news about this city's commercial-vacancy rate, which isn't expected to reach 10 percent until 2008. And that's going down. To soften the blow, he offered this song:

At the start of '03, landlords knew

it would be rough.

Tenants large and small,

there just weren't enough.

Yet the construction pipeline kept

delivering new space,

While leasing and absorption

could not keep pace . . .

Office landlords suffered and moaned,

but there was a silver lining.

Low interest rates and roller-coaster stocks

kept buyers pining

For Class A buildings with solid

rent rolls

And little rollover risk, that would be

investor's gold.

But what of '04, what does our crystal ball

tell us?

The market will improve, but not enough

to make tenants jealous

Of landlords (who) won't have much

bargaining power

Until 2005, when the market will be

less dour

So tenants make your best deals soon,

Lock in long-term low rates and whistle

a happy tune.

In 2004, landlords, you will begin to

climb out of your hole,

And you'll all feel better in 2005

When the Broncos win the Super Bowl.

Best Bus Stop With a View

104th Ave. and Federal Blvd.

At the corner where Westminster meets Federal Heights is a scene to ponder. Thanks to a notable plunge in elevation behind it, the bus bench on the northwest corner of the intersection has a panoramic view of the foothills, the Flatirons and the mountains beyond. And all that suburban sprawl in the foreground should make you feel all the more virtuous for taking the bus.

Best Bus Stop With a View

104th Ave. and Federal Blvd.

At the corner where Westminster meets Federal Heights is a scene to ponder. Thanks to a notable plunge in elevation behind it, the bus bench on the northwest corner of the intersection has a panoramic view of the foothills, the Flatirons and the mountains beyond. And all that suburban sprawl in the foreground should make you feel all the more virtuous for taking the bus.

Best Place to Eavesdrop on Blind Dates

Tattered Cover Book Store

Everyone dreads blind dates -- unless, of course, they're watching someone else's dreadful blind date. And there's no better place to do that than the Tattered Cover in Cherry Creek. The bookstore appears to be the blind-date location of choice in Denver, which makes sense: The coffee-shop area is big enough to allow for an undetected escape in the event one party spots the other first and doesn't like what he/she sees, yet it's also cozy enough for intimate conversation in case the combination clicks. (The Fourth Story is also right upstairs, in case the daters want to move on to drinks and dinner.) There's just one catch: The people sitting nearby can hear every awkward word the couple utters.

Best Place to Eavesdrop on Blind Dates

Tattered Cover Book Store

Everyone dreads blind dates -- unless, of course, they're watching someone else's dreadful blind date. And there's no better place to do that than the Tattered Cover in Cherry Creek. The bookstore appears to be the blind-date location of choice in Denver, which makes sense: The coffee-shop area is big enough to allow for an undetected escape in the event one party spots the other first and doesn't like what he/she sees, yet it's also cozy enough for intimate conversation in case the combination clicks. (The Fourth Story is also right upstairs, in case the daters want to move on to drinks and dinner.) There's just one catch: The people sitting nearby can hear every awkward word the couple utters.

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