Photos: The disappearing shirt crisis deepens at HARD Red Rocks (NSFW)

HARD is an organization that brings skyrocketing DJs in sunglasses and aggressively patterned shirts to venues and boats around the country. Last night, the Red Rocks installment (HARD: Red Rocks, duh) brought headliners Nero and Dillion Francis along with a few more artists and several thousand people who are, in...

By Westword Staff

August 1, 2014

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HARD is an organization that brings skyrocketing DJs in sunglasses and aggressively patterned shirts to venues and boats around the country. Last night, the Red Rocks installment (HARD: Red Rocks, duh) brought headliners Nero and Dillion Francis along with a few more artists and several thousand people who are, in fact, hard to our favorite quiet little park along the front range. Remember a couple weeks ago, when we brought you dire news from said park about an attack on the shirts of America's helpless youth? GUESS WHAT? IT HAPPENED AGAIN.

It is our solemn duty to bring you documentation in the form of more photos from the steady lens of Aaron Thackeray, along with increasingly hysterical reports from the scene. I'm deeply sorry.

Hydration is so important. Always hydrate, even when your shirt vanishes mysteriously. A dehydrated human is a defenseless human. Run! No amount of bracelets will save you! Do you have your buddy? FIND YOUR BUDDY. THIS IS WHY WE HAVE A SYSTEM. It's always good to have multiple buddies. Hang tight to your buddies, and you will always be ready to Hang Loose. The situation gets harder on the next page. Not the tiger! Why, unseen shirt attacker? WHHHHHY?!!!?? OH, THE SPARKLES. OH, THE HUMANITY. WHAT IS HAPPENING? IS THE TACO BELL LOGO SHORTHAND FOR SOME DRUG I AM TOO OLD/LAME TO KNOW ABOUT?? I WISH I COULD REMAIN AS CALM AS YOU. ARE YOU GODDAMN HAPPY NOW, ADAM AEDRO DROTAR AND KEDHRIN GONZALEZ?

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