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Delegates would totally save world, if they weren't so damn hungover

The delegate from the great state of Vermont now has the floor. As you may have noticed, this DNC thing is all about drinking and free stuff. The open bars at some delegate-friendly hotels start serving Bloody Marys at 10:30 a.m., and the Dems can hardly sneeze without stumbling on...
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The delegate from the great state of Vermont now has the floor.

As you may have noticed, this DNC thing is all about drinking and free stuff. The open bars at some delegate-friendly hotels start serving Bloody Marys at 10:30 a.m., and the Dems can hardly sneeze without stumbling on a free shuttle, water bottle, or bike. But as for public service…well, let’s just say it’s not at the top of their agenda.

Take Tuesday’s volunteer activity at Manual High School, organized by World Vision and the ONE campaign. The goal was to assemble care packages for health volunteers who take care of AIDS patients in Africa, Asia, and Latin America. Bags full of soap, ointment, aspirin, flashlights, and other necessities were meant to help fight infection in Third World countries.

Big name celebs—Senate Majority Leader Tom Daschle, the band Daughtry, and even a princess from Zambia—were on hand to give the event some glitz. And free transportation was promised to bring delegates to the school.

Plenty of crowds showed up, including high school students. But delegates—who are hard to miss, with their copious flair and laminated credentials--were conspicuously absent. “I saw, I think, three delegates,” said one disappointed volunteer.

Perhaps she would have had better luck at the Curtis Hotel bar. — Lisa Rab

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