WTF?
Here's how Oliver laid out the competition's concept on the February 26 episode of the show. After describing Gorsuch as "a man so blandly handsome it feels like you saw him on page fourteen of any J.C. Penney's catalogue or as second lead in an erectile-dysfunction ad," he noted, "There's a lot for Democrats to be annoyed at here. Not only is Gorsuch extremely conservative, but Republicans basically stole this seat — because Merrick Garland, who Obama nominated eleven months ago, wasn't even given a hearing. So the debate now is whether to filibuster Gorsuch or confirm a man whose place on the Supreme Court will always have an asterisk on it — which actually puts our show in a tricky position as well."
How so? "As you may know," Oliver continued, "we have an all-dog Supreme Court to re-enact oral arguments, since cameras aren't allowed in the courtroom.... Technically, we should be finding a dog for Gorsuch now, but we're not going to do that. Instead, to reflect the fact that Gorsuch's nomination is a historical aberration, he will be getting an animal that will constantly remind us that it has no place in that spot on a dog court. What I'm saying is, Gorsuch is getting a lobster. That's right: We're going paws and claws up in this piece!"
The nominees to become "Lobster Gorsuch" are the aforementioned Clawford, Shellington and Mike, and viewers were invited to vote for their favorite using the #ClawAndOrder hashtag — and they have, in the thousands. Some folks used simple text to make their voices heard, as in these examples:
My vote goes to Pinchers. He obviously has the gravitas needed for @LastWeekTonight's SCOTUS #clawandorderBut others took the graphic route, including this voter....
@LastWeekTonight Cindy Clawford seems like a Justice you could grab a beer with, or at the very least, beer batter #clawandorder
#clawandorder You can't pass on Mike.
My vote is for Cindy Clawford but only because Jude Claw was not an option #clawandorder @LastWeekTonight
@LastWeekTonight I'm voting for Pinchers Von Shellington III to make the Supreme Court "great" again! #clawandorder
#clawandorder @LastWeekTonight Mike is the obvious choice. He clearly wants it. He waved AND played with the gavel.
@LastWeekTonight Come on, obviously Cindy Clawford #clawandorder #clawsandpaws
#pinchersvonshellington111 for the win! #clawandorder @LastWeekTonight
Mike: Whose teeth are a gastric mill located in his stomach and who's actually just a fucking lobster @LastWeekTonight #clawandorder
...and this one....Casting my #clawandorder vote for Pinchy. Like any 3rd-world political battle, the losers will be eaten. #moredrawnbutter @LastWeekTonight pic.twitter.com/eb5dnesBXv
— Greg (@idaman66) March 1, 2017
...and this one....#clawandorder #cindyclawford @LastWeekTonight pic.twitter.com/tbcYSVpRJK
— GNL Zamba (@therealGnlzamba) March 1, 2017
...and this one.@LastWeekTonight Pinchers Von Shellington III! #clawandorder pic.twitter.com/Da1tS2eTbJ
— Tony Wild (@Tony_Wild) March 1, 2017
There was even a woman who tweeted during President Trump's February 28 joint address to Congress after a reference to Gorsuch.#clawandorder Kudos to @LastWeekTonight for choosing an edible SCOTUS nominee! Pinchers Von Shellington III looks fabulous in drawn butter! pic.twitter.com/2j0D5BMjR0
— Great Blue Heron (@greatbluheron) March 1, 2017
The Twitter polls are still open; vote early and vote often for your favorite using the #ClawAndOrder hashtag.Sorry @POTUS teleprompter fail. By "Neil Gorsuch" you meant Pinchers Von Shellington III #JointAddress #ClawAndOrder @LastWeekTonight pic.twitter.com/z6VNS4TRq0
— Grace Jackson (@gracejackson) March 1, 2017
Finally, an election every American can support.