Kenny Be's Worst-Case Scenario: (Not) seen at the Denver Auto Show

The 2009 Double Hummer Completely redesigned with U.S taxpayer auto-bailout money, the new Double Hummer will be marketed as the perfect four-wheel-drive vehicle for American Interstate highway driving. With a 116-inch wheelbase, the double-wide track allows all 280 cubic feet of cargo space to be distributed in a single, six-passenger...

By Kenny Be

April 1, 2009

[
        {
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Inline Content - Mobile Display Size",
          "component": "12017618",
          "insertPoint": "2",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "2"
        },{
          "name": "Editor Picks",
          "component": "17242653",
          "insertPoint": "4",
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "1"
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18838239",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - MediumRectangle - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17261320",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 8,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "7",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Inline Links",
          "component": "18838239",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        },{
          "name": "Air - Leaderboard Tower - Combo - Inline Content",
          "component": "17261321",
          "insertPoint": "8th",
          "startingPoint": 12,
          "requiredCountToDisplay": "11",
          "maxInsertions": 25
        }
      ]

The 2009 Double Hummer

Completely redesigned with U.S taxpayer auto-bailout money, the new Double Hummer will be marketed as the perfect four-wheel-drive vehicle for American Interstate highway driving. With a 116-inch wheelbase, the double-wide track allows all 280 cubic feet of cargo space to be distributed in a single, six-passenger front seat. The width also allows the driver to control two lanes of traffic instead of one. The sixteen-cylinder engine is fueled by burning a blend of all the items listed on fast-food restaurant dollar menus, which is cheaper than the cost of gas.

Become A Member

BEFORE YOU GO...
Can you help us continue to share our stories? Since the beginning, Westword has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver — and we'd like to keep it that way. Our members allow us to continue offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food, and culture with no paywalls.