Three ways to put beer on your body rather than in it

The Great American Beer Festival is coming, and you want to make sure you're properly tubbed and scrubbed, but ordinary ablutions aren't going to cut it -- not for the biggest beer festival in the world. For that, you are going to have to put beer on your body as well as inside it. Here's three suggestions. 1) Ritz-Carlton mask, body and scalp massage Malt is one of the four key ingredients in beer, but it also apparently makes for a great body scrub. During Denver Beer Fest, October 5-14, the Ritz-Carlton downtown is offering something called a Mile High Malt Scrub & Microbrew Massage, incorporating beer from Great Divide Brewing. Here's how it works, according to the hotel: "First, you will be presented with a chilled brew...Your treatment provider will then mix a light and refreshing [Samurai Ale} rice beer into the brewery's own malt, and when combined, a full-body exfoliation with the malt scrub is performed. A warm cascade from the Vichy shower rinses the body, followed by an application of a mask consisting of dark, rich stout beer to help achieve silky soft skin. A scalp massage using beer is also performed, along with a massage using the foam of the thick Yeti beer mixed with moisturizing potions. To top the experience off, sip a beer in the relaxation lounge." The damage for this heady, 75-minute experience: $200. 2. Beer lip balm There are some days when you just can't wait for the first sip of beers to hit your lips, but there are also some days when you simply can't start drinking at 11 a.m...in the office..in front of your boss...and her kids. On those days, you're going to have to wet your whistle with beer lip balm. Oskar Blues makes some out of its Old Chub Beer; the Wynkoop makes Rail Yard Ale lip balm; and New Belgium sells two kinds, Fat Tire and Ranger. Balm is typically available at the breweries or online and costs $1-$3.

3. Great Storm Brewing Rum Raisin Stout Beer Soap Do you love beer? Do you, as Great Storm Brewing phrases it, "wish you could take a bath in it?" Never fear. The Monument brewery has just introduced Rum Raisin Stout Beer Soap. Each bar has an ounce of beer in it and creates a nice, foamy head. It's available in the taproom or at Frog on a Limb Primitives in Monument, for $6.

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