As the work week comes to a close, there can only be one truth to be held as self-evident. Westword has officially lost their minds.
So I give to you my snarky, ill-informed, completely misguided comments on the week that was. I will be the blog that all of humanity will await with bated breath -- or until I run out of breath, whichever comes first. No person shall be spared, except for Lori. She is my muse.
On Monday, we found out that Westword was giving out tickets to Anthony Bourdain's talkfest. That brought out the best in show for some posters. "Funseeker" let us know that he thinks AB should be completely ignored. Funny, we all thought the same about "Funseeker."
Our favorite sous chef finally got to wear an actual toque; we learned that Tyler can actually cook and speak Spanish at the same time -- although with a somewhat disastrous result of a burn on his hand. Keep trying to deep-fry those Twinkies by hand, and you'll keep getting the same result.
Sean Kenyon keeps it up, in more ways than we can count, with another trophy to his collection. Keep winning bartending awards and a PBR is on me.
On Tuesday, we got the link to a NYT blog about being a restaurant server. Methinks he has never waited tables. I've done many a turn in front of the house in fine dining and greasy spoons, and that writer is a fool. Would love to show him how it's done.
Jason turned in another of his wonderful pre columns about the place he reviewed; he has the Asian food scene in the palm of his hand, unlike his other hand. If you ever need good food from that place on the planet, he's your man.
On Wednesday, Lori posted a Guess Where I'm Eating? Everyone and their mom figured it out that it was Marco's Coal-Fired Pizza. But for the life of us, none of us posters could figure out how that could be, because we all know that the pizzas have minimal artisanal toppings for effect versus flavor. It caught us all by surprise.
Kate Kennedy dropped an egg and placed it on the picture of her column about the Good Egg Project. And it looked delicious. In fact, I grabbed a twelve-pack, scrambled them up with some chorizo and made a donation.
Jason made another contribution to the blog on Thursday, although I don't see where he has the time to do so, since drinking Jameson and smoking outside is pretty much his full-time job. I kid: Sheehan is excellent at what he does, and he deserves all that he gets. He makes a great case for Larkburger being something special in Boulder; let's hope it stays there.
Thank you, Teague, for the list of things that must die for Thanksgiving. Hey, where's Lori's camera on this list?
For a Friday special, we got notice that there's a new, bikini-only coffeeshop opening up in Aurora. Who's got dibs to see if Jason has an interest in that shop, since he lives in that part of town. They offered Lori a free cup of java if she shows up -- how about the rest of us? Do they serve hot cocoa? With whipped cream? Might have to do a recon mission. You know, just for research.
If you're interested in free Coors Light -- and who isn't? -- make your way past the hordes of people looking for handouts at the Drink and enjoy your one-hour free beverage. Really? Coors Light? And this bar is part of a group that includes a supposed gastropub? Wow, good thing this is near Union Station so that we can all use the outdoor potties after drinking pure Rocky Mountain spring water. Optimum word is water.
Let's make this a weekly occurrence, so that we can get together and enjoy some beverages. On your own dime, of course.
And now your words of wisdom for the week:
Let's do it to them, before they do it to us.