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American traditions: Thanksgiving and suing the crap out of your neighbor

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As sad and time-wasting as frivolous lawsuits can be, they're a part of American life. Sometimes they can be downright funny (except for the people involved). Remember the dumbass Washington D.C. judge who sued his dry cleaners for $54 million over a pair of lost pants? Fortunately he lost that case, but it left the owners of the business he sued with a legal tab upwards of $100,000.

So in these litigious times, The Center for Consumer Freedom offers a legal solution to protect your ass in the event that you get sued for an unwitting mistake committed on turkey day. The Thanksgiving Guest Liability and Indemnification Agreement stipulates that whomever signs the waiver absolves their hosts of, among other things, "failure to provide healthier alternatives or vegetarian Tofurky." (For more insanity, read Joe Tone's post on atrocities committed against the beloved fowl).

It's clearly satire, but it would make a funny gag greeting to your guests this Thanksgiving. Yet, you can't help but wonder what the harm would be in keeping the signed copies safely in a drawer...just in case.

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.