5) If it's not too much trouble, Santa, could you do something about the charcuterie situation here in Denver? Brasserie Rouge was the one place you could count on for good, fresh, artisan forcemeats, galantines and pâtés, and now it's gone. Yes, there may be garde-manger items on menus all over town, but there's no restaurant with a dedicated charcuterie station -- and that's just not right. Of course, to have the best kind of charcuterie, we'd also need some more really good butchers. And if we had more really good butchers, it would only make sense to have a daily pros-only market where they could show off the best of their wares. And once the butchers move in, we'd have to make space for the fresh-produce sellers and the fish guys and the cheese makers...

6) Finally, as stocking stuffers, how about a job for John Calloway, ex of the Hilltop Cafe? How about more work for patissier Robert McCarthy, who's running the Red Elk Bakery to provide professional desserts for those kitchens that can't afford their own pastry departments? I'd like to see Duy Pham come back from his mountain exile and find a place to settle down here in Denver. And for Sean Yontz, ex of Vega and now a consultant wandering the restaurant landscape like Caine in the old Kung Fu series, how about two brand-new turntables so that he can practice his DJ act? After his performance at La Rumba last month, I hear he could make a few bucks working the wedding and bar-mitzvah circuit.

I'd like luck for Sean Kelly when he expands Somethin' Else after the first of the year, and two weeks' vacation for Jennifer Jasinski now that she's got Rioja going, and a lump of coal for the waitress at the Denver Diner who threw my punk ass out for hogging one of her tables too long while writing this list. That's twice I've been booted from that place.

Anyway, Santa, thanks in advance. And a Merry Christmas to you, too.