Bush, To Go

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His Presidential-ness George Bush is scheduled to visit our fair city tomorrow. What the fuck is Dubya doing darkening our collective doorsteps this time? Why, politickin', of course. He'll be in town for a $1000-a-plate lunch in the Cherry Hills home of Charlie Gallagher (of the private equity firm Gallagher Enterprises), which should raise a little green for Rick O'Donnell, the GOP candidate making a bid to wedge his ass firmly into the seventh congressional district seat.

Thing is, the guest of honor at an event like this never gets to eat anything: The Prez will be too busy shaking hands and posing for commemorative photos (at $4200 a pop) to enjoy much luncheon grub. But Dan Tang -- owner of Heaven Dragon restaurant in Thornton, and a big contributor to Republican candidates for offices both large and small — is riding to Bush's the rescue. Just as he has three times before, Tang is putting together a large delivery order for the presidential party, and he'll take it to the big man as the fundraiser ends.

Want to know what Bush's really select circle will be eating? See "Salt Treaty," my October 2004 review of Heaven Dragon: Bush orders the same thing every time he's in town, and this visit is no exception.

That's the way the fortune cookie crumbles. — Jason Sheehan