Eating cards! When you care enough to taste the very best

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You need a greeting card to show how much you care, but you want to send something that the recipient will cherish for days, if not hours.

So you walk up and down the miles of aisles at the local Hallmark store, searching for that special card that will bond the two of you forever. You find those cards with the cheesy, tinny songs; too mainstream. How about a scratch-and-sniff card? Well, nobody I know wants to put their nose up against scented paper.

But now there's a solution to your greeting-card dilemma: eating cards!

American Greeting Corp. has put the rest of the modern world on notice with its new line of greeting cards called Tasties. These cards come with a dissolvable flavor strip not unlike the gum strips that you place on your tongue just before your beer goggles kick in.

Using these strips, the Cleveland-based manufacturer has cornered the market on sap, with get-well cards that have all the taste of a Tasties margarita. Just pop that strip in your mouth, let it dissolve, and someone's bound to get the message.

There's also a cupcake flavor -- which means that now instead of delivering an actual cupcake with a card attached to it, you can skip the bakery and show what a cheap ass you are by giving your beloved a chemical0laden strip she can deposit on her tongue as she gives you the finger and changes the locks on the door.

Now, if only American Greeting could come up with bacon-flavored strips....

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Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.