The Masters Tournament starts this weekend, which is always a great excuse to invite the guys over for some grub and stogies, and trade stories about that pay-for-play night during that last golf outing in Vegas. If you're lucky, your indentured servant, err, wife will make you a smorgasbord of delights so that you won't have to leave your Barcalounger except to pee.
Tiger hasn't been the same since the "incident," but you can still enjoy a menu that will make your stomach growl. Just make sure you don't crash too early.
Arnold Palmer is the honorary starter of the Masters, and he christens the first tee with a mighty swing with his driver. Since the tournament is in Georgia, sweet tea is always in the mix, and an "Arnie Palmer" is the drink of choice. This non-lethal concoction is equal parts ice tea and lemonade, but since you're home in front of your HDTV, you can make it a "John Daly" by adding copious amounts of vodka.
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Nachos are always fun to snarf while on the sofa; they include all the basic food groups: sour cream, guacamole, salsa, beans and tortilla chips. Pretend the guac is the green, the chips the sand trap, and the salsa the water hazard.
Fried finger foods should dominate the rest of the meal. A steady diet of pizza bites, mozzarella sticks and some pressed, boneless, wingless wings will have you looking for the 19th tee to hole out.