Sports

Guac Talk: Choosing the Right Guacamole for your Broncos Party

If you’re a football fan, you know what’s riding on this weekend’s game between the Broncos and the Green Bay Packers: bragging rights. By Sunday night, only one team will have that prized zero in the loss column. But regardless of who wins, you can have bragging rights in the form of guacamole, the dip-snack-spread that goes so well with football watch parties. At last year’s Super Bowl alone, it was estimated that enough avocados were eaten to fill a football field from end to end, over 46 feet high.

With this in mind, we put three popular brands of guacamole through their own pre-game workout. Here are the results, so you can choose your own starting guac.

1) Whole Foods Fresh Guacamole
$8.99/pound
To borrow a term more commonly used with pâté, the Whole Foods fresh guacamole is country-style, with rustic bits of chopped red onion, tomato and cilantro and just the right amount of lime. The chunkiest of the three, it had satisfying pieces of avocado to scoop with tortillas and could easily pass as homemade. Bonus: If you’ve got kids in your NFL family, this not-too-spicy version is sure to be a hit, especially if you perk it up with a bit of salt.

2) Sabra Classic Guacamole
$3.99 for 8 ounces
Given the reliability of Sabra’s hummus, I expected more from this classic guacamole. Prepackaged and found at grocery stores like King Soopers, it was the least expensive of the three – and tasted like it. Blended until smooth, it had a few token hunks of avocado thrown in, but they were too big to balance on a chip without risk of a fumble. Despite a respectable ingredient list – garlic, jalapeño, cilantro, etc. – it tasted like plain avocado, more like what you’d find on a sandwich at a fast-food restaurant than something you’d want to dip.


3) Marczyk’s Market-Made Guacamole
$9.99/pound
While the guacamole from Marczyk Fine Foods (with a second location farther east) proved too spicy for the younger tasters in my admittedly non-scientific focus group, it was the dip I found myself reaching for again and again. Bright with lime and full of cilantro, it had a secret ingredient that the others lacked: cumin. This Mexican staple brought up the level of play the way a good offensive lineman does — supporting without hogging the spotlight.
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Gretchen Kurtz has worked as a writer for 25 years; during that time she's stomped grapes in Napa, eaten b'stilla in Fez, and baked with Buddy Valastro, aka the Cake Boss. Her work has appeared in publications including Boulevard (Paris), Diversion, the New York Times and Westword. Our restaurant critic since 2012, she loves helping you decide where to eat and drink tonight.
Contact: Gretchen Kurtz