Cafe Society

Is it against the law to like large (chicken) breasts?

A Lakewood man got a trespassing notice for telling a Safeway deli employee that he likes large chicken breasts, Michael Roberts reports.

"She was so, so mad," Al Stults told Roberts. "She said, 'The last time you were here, you giggled about this woman's large breasts.' And I said, 'Oh, baloney.' And then she opened up her flip phone and called the police, and I listened to her make up this whole story about me cussing and threatening her."

Find the full story here: "Man gets trespassing notice for telling deli clerk he likes large (chicken) breasts?" And in an homage to Stults being banned from this particular Safeway for a year, Jef Otte researched five more ridiculous bannings, right down to Elaine being snubbed by the Soup Nazi on Seinfeld, which you can read here.

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Patricia Calhoun co-founded Westword in 1977; she’s been the editor ever since. She’s a regular on the weekly CPT12 roundtable Colorado Inside Out, played a real journalist in John Sayles’s Silver City, once interviewed President Bill Clinton while wearing flip-flops, and has been honored with numerous national awards for her columns and feature-writing.
Contact: Patricia Calhoun