Milking It: Fruity Cheerios

Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

Fruity Cheerios General Mills Rating: One and a half stars out of four

Cereal description: Mini-life preservers made of corn and oats and tinted in a variety of hues. But the red, yellow, green, orange and purple colors are bleached out and pale, not bright and vibrant. Could it be a sign?

Box description: My version of the box features a bright red backdrop with various circles of orange, purple and red displayed in artistically pleasing spots. The word "Fruity" over the Cheerios logo is light green, while a gleaming yellow bubble announces that the cereal is a "Good Source of Calcium & Vitamin D: 9 grams of Sugar." Which isn't nearly enough, by the way. Rather than showing a bowl of the stuff, the cereal is displayed in a single giant spoon splashed with advertising milk so out of control that two distinct ovoids can be seen floating into orbit. Opposite the panel featuring nutrition information is more nutrition information -- rip-off! But at least the back of the box features an activity, albeit a dopey one. Diners are supposed to link a joke question with its appropriate punchline, which is only entertaining when mismatched. Maybe it's just me, but I think the answer to "What did Cherry do when Lemon asked for a kiss?" should be, "He squeezed in," not "She puckered up."

Taste: Bland. Nondescript. Boring. This stuff may look like Trix that have been left in the sun too long, but the flavor doesn't even come close to measuring up. This isn't coincidental, I suspect: If the stuff tasted too good, the General Mills flavor scientists probably think, those eating it might begin to wonder if it was actually healthy for them, as Cheerios is supposed to be. But taste this weak is hardly an incentive to keep eating it.

Conclusion: If this is what nutrition tastes like, give me something with no dietary value at all. -- Michael Roberts

Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.


Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.