No bones about it, I need a McRib

"What the fuck is a McRib?!?!?!?!?!?!?" In a moment of drunken enlightenment, I put those words as my Facebook status. Some of the responses: "Even the bones are meat!," "God's gift to McDonald's" and "It's kinda good, but it's probably better not to ask what it is...You can't handle the truth.' 

Once again, the McRib is mysteriously popping up on McDonald's menus, as it has since it first appeared in 1981. But just as mysteriously, the McRib will disappear from these menus.

And before it does, I need to go try a McRib, because I honestly do not know what the fuck it is. It sure looks like it has bones, but apparently it doesn't. And after looking at its nutritional facts, I learned it was actually better for you than a Big Mac and has fewer calories than a Premium Crispy Chicken Ranch BLT Sandwich

The ingredients (Allergen statement in ALL CAPS) for the McRib Pork Patty: Pork, water, salt, dextrose, BHA and BHT and propyl gallate and citric acid (preservatives). McRib Bun: Enriched flour (bleached wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, reduced iron, thiamin mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid), water, yeast, high fructose corn syrup, contains 2% or less of the following: yellow corn meal, salt, partially hydrogenated soybean and cottonseed oils, canola oil, soybean oil, dextrose, sugar, calcium sulfate, cultured wheat flour, wheat gluten, ammonium sulfate, monocalcium phosphate, ammonium chloride, cellulose gum, diastatic malt, calcium carbonate, soy flour, deactivated dry yeast, dough conditioners (may contain one or more of the following: ascorbic acid, enzymes, sodium stearoyl lactylate, azodicarbonamide, calcium peroxide, guar gum, distilled monoglycerides, DATEM, mono- and diglycerides, ethoxylated mono- and diglycerides, calcium stearoyl lactylate), calcium propionate and sodium propionate (preservatives), soy lecithin. CONTAINS: WHEAT AND SOY. McRib Sauce: Water, high fructose corn syrup, tomato paste, distilled vinegar, molasses, natural smoke flavor (plant source), food starch-modified, salt, spices, sugar, soybean oil, xanthan gum, onion and garlic powder, sodium benzoate (preservative), caramel color, beet powder, corn oil.

Then there's Pickle Slices: Cucumbers, water, distilled vinegar, salt, calcium chloride, alum, potassium sorbate (preservative), natural flavors (plant source), polysorbate 80, extractives of turmeric (color). And Slivered Onions.

I loves me some calcium stearoyl lactylate and propyl gallate! And although I found a website on how to make a McRib yourself, I'm going out right now to get the real thing. If I survive, I'll report back.-- Tyler Nemkov

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