This week, a certain Denver chef (who will remain anonymous, at least for the time being) thought that he'd have some good 'ol fun at the expense of another Denver chef (who will also remain anonymous for now).
And by "fun," I'm not talking about shoving a frog down his whites, or buzz-cutting his hair while he was sacked out from slugging too much whiskey, or stealing a couple of truffles from the guy, attaching them to a a dildo and calling it a dick. No, what this chef did went far beyond any reasonable person's idea of "fun."
He e-mailed a letter to a few of his friends -- themselves Denver chefs -- in which he wrote, among other things:
You stand up on your pedestals, basking in the limelight, stealing all the press. Meanwhile, talented, hardworking chefs such as myself are brushed aside...You may have all the glory now but your comeuppance is near. As a gesture of my contempt I will be forming my own little chef clique. Our events will be far superior to the likes of ours and you'll probably be rooting through our dumpsters begging for food scraps...I hope you enjoy your glory now because soon you will be forgotten.
We Believe Local Journalism is Critical to the Life of a City
Support Our Journalism
And he signed that note, which he sent from an anonymous e-mail address, not with his name, but with the name of that other chef -- a chef he'd never even met, a chef who was just minding his own damn business, a chef who, for reasons I really can't comprehend, let the SOB live. At the very least, the punk's tongue should have been sliced in half for using the word "comeuppance."
But maybe because it's the holidays and all -- you know, good will, good cheer, Merry Christmas everyone -- the prankster chef managed to save himself from a scalding. He offered a face-to-face apology to the chef he totally effed over, and the guy let him go free. So, yeah, he's sorry, as well he should be. So sorry, in fact, that he backed up his first apology with another, reprinted below (to protect the innocent, the besieged chef's name will hereafter be known as "X"):
To whom it may concern,
As a prank I recently sent an email to a few friends pretending to be X. This email was intended as a joke and was only ever to be seen by the select people it was sent to. Due to unfortunate circumstances it was spread to others and believed to be authentic.
First, let me say that this email was not written by X. He had absolutely no knowledge of it and nothing to do with it. I have nothing but respect for X, and feel terrible that he has to be subjected to any of this because of my carelessness and stupidity.
Second, I want to offer an apology to X and anyone else who got drawn into this debacle. I am genuinely sorry for creating this mess and for any damage that it may have caused.
Finally, to anyone who may have come into possession of this email, please do not perpetuate it any further. For the sake of everyone involved, I would ask that you please let it die.
Again to anyone who may have been exposed to this and especially to X, I am very sorry for my actions.
Hope the dude gets coal in his Christmas stocking.