4

Our ode to the McRib, now on the endangered species list

^
Keep Westword Free
I Support
  • Local
  • Community
  • Journalism
  • logo

Support the independent voice of Denver and help keep the future of Westword free.

For the last few years, McDonald's has given its fans an annual holiday present: the McRib, a porkorific product that returns to menus across the country for a few weeks. But this year, the fast-food chain has decided against a national rollout; instead, local franchises can decide whether they want to offer the sandwich. The company had "other national priorities" this year, such as its new Mighty Wings, a McDonald's spokeswoman told USA Today. And there's no question those Mighty Wings, which Jenn Wohletz discovered are mighty expensive, need help.

Still, we have our fingers crossed that local stores will be in a giving spirit this year and wrap up the McRib. And to help inspire them, we're reprinting our Ode to the McRib: See also:Happy McRibmas! Five fun-in-a-bun facts about the McDonald's McRib

An Ode to the McRib Sandwich --by Jenn Wohletz

Is it the bun or the barbecue sauce? Which every year makes me mourn the loss. I will miss your pre-formed patty, filled with what I hoped was meat, and how I always said, "There are worse things I could eat." You had 500 calories, 240 from fat, but I'm an American, so who cares about that? I ate you with fries, and sometimes a Coke, and the heartburn you gave me was far from a joke. You stained my favorite shirt, and the seat of my car, but you were my best friend whenever I left the bar. I wanted you forever, but you left really fast, like all of my boyfriends, you just didn't last. Your pickles were crisp, and your onions thick, all those who didn't love you can go suck a.......! Will you be back? I hope that you will. because I still have plenty of intestines to kill. I will drive past McDoo and try not to cry, because I have only a sticky box to remember you by. Until we eat again....


Keep Westword Free... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we would like to keep it that way. Offering our readers free access to incisive coverage of local news, food and culture. Producing stories on everything from political scandals to the hottest new bands, with gutsy reporting, stylish writing, and staffers who've won everything from the Society of Professional Journalists' Sigma Delta Chi feature-writing award to the Casey Medal for Meritorious Journalism. But with local journalism's existence under siege and advertising revenue setbacks having a larger impact, it is important now more than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" membership program, allowing us to keep covering Denver with no paywalls.

We use cookies to collect and analyze information on site performance and usage, and to enhance and customize content and advertisements. By clicking 'X' or continuing to use the site, you agree to allow cookies to be placed. To find out more, visit our cookies policy and our privacy policy.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.

 

Join the Westword community and help support independent local journalism in Denver.