Fast Food

Our ode to the McRib, now on the endangered species list

For the last few years, McDonald's has given its fans an annual holiday present: the McRib, a porkorific product that returns to menus across the country for a few weeks. But this year, the fast-food chain has decided against a national rollout; instead, local franchises can decide whether they want to offer the sandwich. The company had "other national priorities" this year, such as its new Mighty Wings, a McDonald's spokeswoman told USA Today. And there's no question those Mighty Wings, which Jenn Wohletz discovered are mighty expensive, need help.

Still, we have our fingers crossed that local stores will be in a giving spirit this year and wrap up the McRib. And to help inspire them, we're reprinting our Ode to the McRib: See also:Happy McRibmas! Five fun-in-a-bun facts about the McDonald's McRib

An Ode to the McRib Sandwich --by Jenn Wohletz

Is it the bun or the barbecue sauce? Which every year makes me mourn the loss. I will miss your pre-formed patty, filled with what I hoped was meat, and how I always said, "There are worse things I could eat." You had 500 calories, 240 from fat, but I'm an American, so who cares about that? I ate you with fries, and sometimes a Coke, and the heartburn you gave me was far from a joke. You stained my favorite shirt, and the seat of my car, but you were my best friend whenever I left the bar. I wanted you forever, but you left really fast, like all of my boyfriends, you just didn't last. Your pickles were crisp, and your onions thick, all those who didn't love you can go suck a.......! Will you be back? I hope that you will. because I still have plenty of intestines to kill. I will drive past McDoo and try not to cry, because I have only a sticky box to remember you by. Until we eat again....

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.

Latest Stories