The sandwich: Cee-Lo What's on it: Country ham, turkey, bacon and Swiss on French toast-battered, waffle-grilled potato bread Where to get it: Lakeside Waffles (4335 West 44th Avenue) How much: $7
I've got two words for you: guilty pleasure. Or how about: hangover cure.
Either one fits the Cee-Lo, a soul-soothing sandwich that can instantly clear a headache, fill your belly and change your outlook. It's not pretty, sitting there on your plate or in a Styrofoam box, but looks don't matter when something tastes this good.
The Cee-Lo is like the girl with bad breath you keeping calling at 2 a.m. because she's the best lay you've ever had. It's like the beater you can't sell because every dent reminds you of a story. It's like the reality show that you TiVo and watch when no one else is around.
Start with two pieces of heavy potato bread and dip them in French toast batter. Then add thick slices of country ham, turkey, bacon and Swiss cheese. Put the whole thing inside of an industrial grade waffle iron, grill it and serve with a side of dipping syrup. It's a heart-clogging bundle of meaty, syrupy joy.
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Lakeside Waffles, which opened February 1 inside the Oriental Theater, keeps odd hours: It's supposedly open from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Tuesday through Sunday and during Oriental events, but it was closed during those hours the first two times I dropped by. And it doesn't appear to have its own phone number.
Still, Lakeside Waffles is worth a visit -- if not for the Cee-Lo, then for its waffle-grilled omelets, its wacky waffle combinations or the Fool's Gold, an Elvis-style PB&J with three strips of bacon.
I'll be coming back for you, Cee-Lo. Just don't tell anyone afterward.
To read about previous sandwiches, see the Our Weekly Bread archive.