The Quiznos Magic Mushroom Melt doesn't include any psychoactive ingredients — just mind-meltingly bad optics.EXPAND
The Quiznos Magic Mushroom Melt doesn't include any psychoactive ingredients — just mind-meltingly bad optics.
Courtesy Quiznos

Reader: There's No Magic in These Mushroom Sandwiches

Is imitation the most sincere form of flattery? Cheba Hut founder Scott Jennings was far from flattered when Quiznos offered a one-day Magic Mushroom Melt special at its original location at 1275 Grant Street, as a reaction to Denver's recent decriminalization of psilocybin mushrooms.

Calling Quiznos "bandwagon douchebags," Jennings noted that Cheba Hut has had a Magic Mushroom sandwich on its menu for fifteen years. "So we've gotta go legal here," he said, explaining why his company sent a cease-and-desist letter to Quiznos on June 21.

That action provided readers with plenty to chew on. Says Sam: 

The history of business is the history of "bandwagon douchebags." Get over yourself. Go find the guy who invented the croissnut and have yourself a good cry. You invented a variation on a sandwich, of which variations number in the millions. Congratulations...now put your apron back on and get back to work.

Charles responds: 

Quiznos naming their new sandwich the Magic Mushroom is like McDonald's introducing a new burger called the Whopper.

Notes Larissa: 

Quiznos, sandwich shop 1978. Cheba Hut, sandwich shop 1998. Sounds like he’s a bit of a follower himself.

Ditto from Ron:

 This douche thinks he has a monopoly on magic mushroom sandwiches. Smh.

Sean suggests: 

Who cares? Quiznos sucks and so does Cheba Hut. Garbage.

Replies Nicole: 

I don’t care who follows who, all that matters is who does it best. And Cheba Hut is amazing!

And then there's this from Marcus: 

Am I the only one who doesn’t care about this because they’re not real magic mushrooms?

After receiving the legal document, Quiznos responded: "Thank you for your letter. We would be remiss in not tipping our white button caps to you, the attention has indeed been quite a trip. In having a bit of lighthearted sandwich fun, we, of course, had no intention of being poor spores. Lest this mushroom into menu madness, our gooey and groovy melt will become merely a psychedelic dream...."

The company ran its one-day special on Saturday, June 22; meanwhile, Cheba Hut sent over a "cease and desist" message — in the form of a sexy adult performer dressed as a cop.

Missing in the ’shroom war was the Mellow Mushroom, the Atlanta-based pizza chain that's been putting out pizzas and psilocybin double entendres since 1974. The company once had a larger presence in Colorado but is down to just one outpost, on the 16th Street Mall.

A trip to the Mellow Mushroom could land you a bowl of Magic Mushroom soup or a mushroom-themed sandwich. No, the Mushroom Club Hoagie doesn't come on psychedelic bread or promise hallucinations; you'll have to find your own decriminalized caps for that kind of experience.

Are you a Cheba Hut regular or a Quiznos convert? Or do you have a favorite ’shroom sandwich elsewhere in town? Let us know in the comments or send your pick to cafe@westword.com.

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