Cafe Society

Reader: Go ahead and slam daiquiris, but leave old-fashioneds alone

"There is a thin line between self-indulgence and being a dickhead, a line that any bartender could draw for you." That's how Jenn Wohletz started Friday's piece "five cocktails only a dickhead could love," and dozens of commenters -- bartenders included -- thought she definitely crossed that line with her commentary, earning herself a bar-mat special.

See also: - Five cocktails only a dickhead could love - Best Contemporary Cocktail Bar 2013: Squeaky Bean - Guess where I'm drinking this Old-Fashioned?

Says Clarke Boyer, Denver Expat:

Jenn Wohletz' recent article "Five Cocktails Only a Dickhead Would Order" created quite a kerfuffle all the way out here in Los Angeles! Tongue-in-cheek criticism of lowbrow drinking culture is certainly welcome by us "dickheads," and I really appreciate a good slam on the Bud Light Lime and blended daiquiri set.

On the other hand, it shows great ignorance to call Old Fashioned drinkers "dickheads." The Old Fashioned is one of the oldest cocktails in existence, hence the name, and it is perhaps the greatest way to let whiskey speak in a cocktail. In some form, the Old Fashioned is likely a part of every cocktail list you've ever seen, and any respectable bartender should be able to confidently whip one out.

Ms. Wohletz further dug her grave with a gibe against the Martini: "most bars don't even bother carrying dry vermouth." Let's pause for a quick reality check: every bar in our Solar System has a bottle of dry vermouth on their speed rack! It also appears that Ms. Wohletz does not know the difference between vermouth and olive juice, although I'll admit that I am having a tough time understanding her mediocre ability to use words to make her point. I wonder what Ms. Wohletz would say to an old-timer, perhaps a WWII vet, who sat down at a bar and ordered a dirty martini. Would she call him a "dickhead"?

I'd be willing to bet that Ms. Wohletz didn't include the Mojito or the Cosmo on her little list because she probably loves to order those at her obnoxious LODO meat markets. Since Ms. Wohletz called me and many of my friends "dickheads," I'm going to go ahead and call her an ignorant bitch with no credibility to write one more word about drinking culture ever again.

Was Jenn Wohletz's piece all wet? You can read it and then join the cocktail conversation already under way here.


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Patricia Calhoun co-founded Westword in 1977; she’s been the editor ever since. She’s a regular on the weekly CPT12 roundtable Colorado Inside Out, played a real journalist in John Sayles’s Silver City, once interviewed President Bill Clinton while wearing flip-flops, and has been honored with numerous national awards for her columns and feature-writing.
Contact: Patricia Calhoun