Advice for the lovelorn: Lettuce alone.
Lisa Leigh Allen of Highlands Ranch decided that she had had enough of being married and decided to skip divorce court by simply poisoning her husband, Jonathan Allen, a police officer in Jefferson County. And so she served him a special dinner salad that contained a potentially lethal dose of foxglove.
Foxglove has the chemical makeup of digitalis, which is used in heart medications; iingested incorrectly, it can be deadly -- like French kissing a Colfax hooker after a bender at that dive bar on the Hill.
After eating the bitter salad, Jonathan Allen became ill with severe stomach cramps; Lisa, being the good wife she was, said the pain was "probably stress from your job." Ya, stress from being a K-9 police officer.
After some dogged investigation, it was determined that Jonathan had ingested poison, and the case moved to court, where the facts were tossed around like a Caesar salad. Jonathan said that his wife had physically attacked him. Lisa said that her husband was abusive and had threatened to kill her numerous times; she claimed she'd used the foxglove just to get him into the hospital and out of the house.
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But according to the prosecutor on the case, Bryan Garrett: "This was a premeditated crime; she had to research exactly what kind of plants could poison Mr. Allen."
On May 14, Lisa Allen finally pleaded guilty to a reduced charge of felony assault and was sentenced to two and a half years in prison -- where, with any luck, she will not be assigned to kitchen duty.
For his part, Jonathan has said he forgives his wife -- because what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Even so, we'll bet he never steps foot in a salad bar ever again.