Lists

Seven horrible ways to ruin chili

Granted, chili is something of a sacred thing -- and the nature of that sacredness varies, depending on where you were brought up, and what your grandma ladled into a bowl. Still, there are some things that you can do to chili that seem like anathema, whether or not you believe with all your heart that chili should or should not contain beans.

So, in the interests of better football Sunday dinners everywhere, let's take an admittedly subjective look at the various ways you can completely disrespect this American standard bowl of goodness. We've accompanied each sin with a crude illustration because we believe that strongly in our chili convictions.

KEEP WESTWORD FREE... Since we started Westword, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Denver, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Teague Bohlen is a writer, novelist and professor at the University of Colorado Denver. His first novel, The Pull of the Earth, won the Colorado Book Award for Literary Fiction in 2007; his textbook The Snarktastic Guide to College Success came out in 2014. His new collection of flash fiction, Flatland, is available now.
Contact: Teague Bohlen