Chef Zorba's2626 East 12th Avenue
What to do if you want to take your sweetie out for something yummy but you spent all your money on weed and rent — or you hooked up at last call Thursday night and are trying not to be a jerk but don't even have a single egg in the kitchen to scramble for your overnight guest? Stop by this Congress Park mainstay for its VD special: a stack of three red velvet pancakes stuffed with white chocolate cream cheese and topped with pink and white sprinkles. At just $7.95, it won't break the bank, even if you're paying for your paramour. The breakfast-and-lunch joint is serving the short stack all day, and — for those of you who would rather gnaw off your own arm than go out on February 14 — it will even be available for the rest of February.
Chick-Fil-A4090 River Point Parkway, Sheridan
Our favorite antidote to a fussy prix fixe meal served in a restaurant so dim you have to use your phone to illuminate the menu while a supercilious waiter tries to upsell you on a foie gras supplement is the infamous chicken chain's Valentine's Date Night. For $30, you and your partner in crime will get two meals that include an entree, side, beverage and dessert. The cost of dinner also includes table service, a keepsake photo and a gift. We have so many questions: Does a chicken sandwich, no matter how tasty, merit the use of a French culinary term? Will you be expected to tip Madyson, the high-school-aged cashier who's feeling especially surly about waiting tables since she's missing out on her date with Tyler? Can you sneak an airplane bottle of vodka into your iced tea undetected (there's no mood lighting in fast food, after all)? Will anyone else be in on the joke? Reserve your table (required!) on Eventbrite (seatings are every half-hour from 5 to 7 p.m.) and find out for yourself.
Dos Luces Brewery1236 South Broadway
Sweets for your sweet, brews for bae and worms for weirdos; at Denver's only pre-Columbian brewery, you'll see all sorts on February 14. Yes, a beer and chocolate pairing doesn't sound that adventurous, but when the beers include cranberry tepache (brewed with blue corn and cinnamon) and cherry-lime chicha and the chocolates are booze-infused — including a mezcal bonbon, complete with worm — there are sure to be adventurous diners and drinkers as well as starry-eyed lovers in the house. Purchase your ticket ($30 per pair) on the Dos Luces website, then show up any time between 5 and 10 p.m. for four pairings courtesy of the brewery and Denver's own Cultura Craft Chocolate. Details on the event and the pairings are up on the taproom's Facebook page.
Goed Zuur2801 Welton Street
Sweet and bitter are the words most commonly used to evoke the pangs and pains of love, but what about the other flavors — sour, salty and savory? At this beer bar's Rosés are Red dinner, you're sure to experience all of them (preferably in your meal and its accompanying drinks, not in your date's — or your own! — behavior). The 7 p.m. supper promises five courses paired with pink-inspired drinks, including three sour beers, a cocktail and a glass of bubbly (not champagne, but pétillant naturel, often called pet-nat, an older and more unusual method of producing sparkling wine). And while the menu hasn't been finalized, the kitchen assures us there will be plenty of cheese and chocolate, plus vegetable, seafood and pork courses. To make your reservation for the $75 dinner, visit Eventbrite, where you'll be required to put down a $20 deposit before dining.
Little Man Ice Cream Factory4411 West Colfax Avenue
Want to get in on some sweet swinging action this Valentine's Day? Skip the sex club and head to this massive ice cream production facility, where jazz from Mile High Wildflowers, dance lessons from Swingin' Denver and scoops from the factory floor combine to make the perfect sundae (otherwise known as the Sweetheart Swing Dance). Show up for free dance moves (ice cream is extra) from 7 to 9:30 p.m., and don't worry if your footwork is sub-standard instead of seasoned: There will be a dance lesson during the band break for the ungainly among you.