Things to Do

Ten Offbeat Ways to Celebrate Valentine's Day With Food and Booze

White Pie hates Valentine's Day — and is serving up its Black Pie to prove it.
White Pie hates Valentine's Day — and is serving up its Black Pie to prove it. White Pie

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Misfit Snack Bar

3401 East Colfax Avenue (inside Middleman)
instagram.com/misfitsnackbar
201-679-7079

The food-service window to your left when you enter Middleman is tiny, but it's turning out huge flavors thanks to chef Bo Porytko (formerly of the late, lamented Rebel Restaurant). This February 14, Porytko is partnering with @hamburgeisha, a roving pop-up that, despite its name, serves up neither hamburgers nor traditional Japanese entertainment. But it does sling dumplings and tacos, so we'll forgive the misleading moniker in deference to the pair's Baolentine's Day effort, which includes bites like the namesake bao (filled with a beef patty, American cheese and kewpie mayo), savory funnel cake (sweet potato, sesame and chile glaze), veggie dumplings (ginger, miso, egg and kimchi) and housemade mochi. The bar's doors open at 4 p.m., and the dim sum should start coming off the stove shortly thereafter; visit Misfit and Hamburgeisha's Instagrams for details and a peek at the menu.

Mister Tuna

3033 Brighton Boulevard
720-647-0296

It's not as if we took Troy Guard's now-shuttered RiNo restaurant for granted; the food drew raves, but it also bore the burden of impossible traffic and never-ending construction during its three-year run on Brighton Boulevard. But on Valentine's Day (and on Saturday, February 15), you can hook up with the one that got away one last time — but we're deleting its number from your phone after that, swear to God. The four-course, $65 menu includes some of the the spot's most popular dishes, such as Vietnamese-style kampachi and grilled ono with macadamia nuts, pineapple and burnt miso butter, plus enough swanky supplements — truffles, caviar, foie gras and A5 wagyu — to easily triple the price of your meal. For that one last wistful tryst, call the restaurant or make a reservation on OpenTable.

click to enlarge The heart wants what it wants: whiskey. - STATE 38 DISTILLING
The heart wants what it wants: whiskey.
State 38 Distilling

State 38 Distilling

400 Corporate Circle, Golden
state-38.com
720-242-7219

While it's nice to get flowers and candy delivered to your office, it's not exactly practical: Do you lug the top-heavy arrangement home over the weekend, thereby putting both your sanity and car in danger as you attempt to navigate rush-hour traffic with a vase of water on your passenger seat? Or do you leave it at the office, depriving yourself of enjoying the arrangement before you return to a wilted, droopy bouquet on Monday morning? How do you keep your cube neighbor from filching your Russell Stover sweets? And what if your sweetie is a dude who gets all huffy about receiving "girly" gifts? (Hint: DTMFA.) Flip the script and get something more portable, practical and piquant: whiskey. This Golden outfit is offering WhiskeyGrams (and Vodka-, Gin- and AbsintheGrams) this year; the object of your affection will receive an email to stop by the distillery to pick up their bottle and enjoy a free tasting. To order ($45 for bourbon, $55 for Scotch and $16 to $25 for other spirits), email [email protected] — but if your beau really is that guy who rolls his eyes at the thought of flowers, do yourself a favor: Ditch him and keep the whiskey for yourself. 

Station 26 Brewing Co.

7045 East 38th Avenue
station26brewing.co
303-333-1825

This Park Hill brewery is betting that couples will be battling for restaurant reservations on Friday night and so has decided to host a game show for platonic partners and beer geeks that evening: the Brewlywed's [sic] Game. Between 5 and 6 p.m. enter your and a friend's name in a drawing to compete, and if chosen, your knowledge of their profession, preferences, predilections and personality will be put to the test over a pint; details are up on the brewery's Facebook page. And if you don't get selected? Spend the evening buying each other rounds, and your night will be just as satisfying without the pressures of competition or high-stakes dating.


White Pie

1702 Humboldt Street
whitepie.com
303-862-5323

If your heart has been stomped on and squished, left battered and bloody, has shriveled up to approximately the size and hardness of a walnut — or, hell, if you just hate the color pink with the heat of a thousand suns — consider White Pie's Anti-Valentine's Day dinner. Starting at 5 p.m., the City Park pizzeria is offering a menu that will speak to the depths of your deep, dark soul; notable dishes include Broken Heart Burrata with blood oranges, Black Pie (crème fraiche, mozz, bacon and an egg atop an inky crust) and a trio of desserts whose cynical names belie their sweet insides (I Hate You So Mousse, Black Hole Profiterole and All I Need Is Whiskey...Bread Pudding). As always, White Pie is a walk-in joint, so don't bother trying to make a reservation, lest your heart be broken anew.

Want to spend Valentine's Day in a more traditional way? What's your favorite romantic restaurant? Post a comment or email your suggestions to [email protected]
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Amy Antonation knows that street tacos are infinitely superior to tacos that come covered in squiggles of crema, and she will stab you with her knitting needles if you try to convince her otherwise.
Contact: Amy Antonation