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The 10 worst lunch boxes ever -- and what they say about the kids who carried them

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5. Rambo

What it says: "Nothing is over! Nothing! Well, except maybe that point in my childhood where it's still appropriate for me to still be carrying a lunchbox."

4. Bee Gees

What it says: "What I really wanted was a DISCO lunchbox."

3. Exciting World of Metrics

What it says: "I don't get nearly enough math in class, so I enjoy looking at the same conversion-facts all through my lunch hour, too. It's also fun to count the number of punches I get each day, multiply that by the number of Indian burns, titty twisters, and swirlies I receive, and then tabulate just exactly how much my life sucks on the metric scale."

2. Hi!

What it says: "Hi! I'll give you an apple if you'll touch my belt."

1. Blank

What it says: "My mom hates me."

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Teague Bohlen is a writer, novelist and professor at the University of Colorado Denver. His first novel, The Pull of the Earth, won the Colorado Book Award for Literary Fiction in 2007; his textbook The Snarktastic Guide to College Success came out in 2014. His new collection of flash fiction, Flatland, is available now.
Contact: Teague Bohlen

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