Starting today, and every Friday until we get stampeded by a muster of peacocks, we're serving a full course of Bon AppeTweets, a smorgasbord of weird, humorous and noteworthy food fodder, digested into 140 characters or less. What's on the plate this week? A man pleads for a dinner reservation to save his marriage,
slaughter king Mark Zuckerberg slays animals with his own gold-gilded hands, and a butthead blames Indian food for his flatulence.
Man walks into restaurant "In DESPERATE need of table tonight","Fully booked" waiter says. "Asshole, you just got me divorced" man replies
10: Rene Redzepi
Mark Zuckerberg has vowed to kill what he eats. Animals should consider denying any of his Facebook friend requests. http://t.co/a0WSOLs
9. Ruth Bourdain, whose next move will be adopting all the animals in Farmville.
"You're the critic? I'm the psychic. Nice to meet you." @How2Live4ever
8. Jonathan Gold
I see the world is going to end Saturday. I certainly hope we get to finish dinner. #fb
7. Gael Greene
"I didn't say Judgment Day. I said Judge MINT Day. Which is better Mentos or Tic Tacs? Hope there wasn't any confussion." - God
6. Jim Gaffigan, who likes that minty, fresh feeling.
My farts smell like Indian food. I feel blessed.
5. Mark McCallum, who we never want sitting with us in the backseat.
4. Sam Sifton
Sometimes I wish I was a food critic so I could get all the free food I want
3. Sham Michele, who should consider retracting that statement if she really wants to be a food critic.
"Farm-to-FORK?" That actually appeared on a press release I just got. This will never, ever end.
2. Frank Bruni
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In Australia for The Rapture. It's happening, man! And they're giving out swag bags!
1. Anthony Bourdain