Golden Gate, not Golden Arches
Golden Gate, not Golden Arches

They Haight McDonald's!

What do you get when you cross a hippie with no grooming habits with someone who wants to loiter at your business all day?

A slacker who won't stick around once you increase your prices.

Natalie Gonzales, a San Francisco McDonald's franchise owner, was tired of the underworked and undersanitized keeping her front sidewalk warm and using her restrooms without buying many of the non-nutritious items on her menu. So she did what any business-conscious owner would do: Gonzales got rid of the hippies by making the food prices higher.

She removed a few items from the Dollar Menu, and in the process removed from of her hangers-on. Nicholas Newhart, a street urchin with a Confederate flag tattooed on the back of his dome, told a San Francisco website that since the price of the McDouble went from 99 cents to a robust $1.49 (plus tax), he has been unable to put the 390 colon calories into his bloated bowels.

"This was a business decision based on a number of contributing factors," Gonzales said. "And while these items are no longer available at $1, they are still available at what I believe to be a good, everyday value."

Golden Gate, meet Golden Arches.


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