We've reached the middle of the work week, and as we all know, Wednesday has its own, well-earned nickname: Hump Day.
Why? Maybe because from here, having gotten Monday and Tuesday out of the way, we can start contemplating the joys of the coming weekend, and some real hump days.
In the meantime, let us hump some foods together. And remember: It's all downhill from here.
1. Oysters. When you're thinking about humping, you naturally have to bone up on your bivalve intake. There's a reason that Bourbon Street and prostitution go together like pearls and oysters.
2. Meat helps get you in the mood. Grab your date and order the double bone-in ribeye at your local steakmonger. Order it a perfect, pink medium rare -- and don't forget the creamy horseradish to top it off.
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3. If you're in a relationship with someone who doesn't care for marbled beef, try large sea scallops. These fluffy pillows of delight will melt in your mouth, not in your hand.
4. Jell-O is always a great complement during a mid-week break for some action. It's soft, pliable and able to withstand whatever it touches.
5. And the final course for midweek mischief? Good ol' American pie. Yup, just like the movie. If only we all had dads who were that entertaining -- we wouldn't have needed all those National Geographics.