In honor of opening day at Coors Field, herewith a brief homage to the five best spring drinking rituals:
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5. Easter Nothing cures the pain of spending a Sunday with the in-laws like a mimosa or 15. Be sure to balance out the alcohol with enough bagels and chocolate, or you could be known forever as "the Uncle who punched out the Easter Bunny." 4. March Madness Who doesn't love downing some cold ones while rooting for the ol' alma mater in a winner-takes-all-single-elimination slug fest? Cinderella stories, insane biceps, wings specials: there's something for everyone. 3. Cinco de Mayo Benny's Cantina, "the beach" at A-basin, any pinateria on Federal Blvd; the list of great places to celebrate Cinco de Mayo is endless. You do know that you're celebrating the 1862 victory of the Mexican army over the French in the Battle of Puebla, right? Of course, on to the marg bong. 2. St. Patrick's Day For the dedicated drinker, this occasion offers not one, but multiple days where it's socially acceptable to drink beer before 8 a.m. Whether you celebrate the Saturday before in LoDo or on the actual day (or both, if you're a champion), St. Paddy's Day offers the perfect cover for our burgeoning alcoholism and leprechaun fetishes. 1. Colorado Rockies Opening Day It's like the Colorado weather gods know we want to drink in the sun. The high for today is 64 degrees -- even toastier in the sunny bleachers. You don't have to be a baseball fan to ditch work after lunch, throw on some purple and head to the game for some Cracker Jack (Daniels).