The Broncos are going to win Super Bowl XLVII -- say that with me, and keep repeating it like a mantra because if you say anything else, out loud, in front of other people here in Colorado, somebody will punch you in the stomach really, really hard. And speaking of stomachs, it's never too soon to begin planning what your game-day guests will be enjoying on the big day. And what could be better than that traditional football food: pizza!
With a New York chef pushing a Denver omelet pizza, we thought it was high time to list our own top five Super Bowl pizza ideas for Broncos fans. Orange and blue, or you get beat with a shoe.
5. Make a Denver omelet pizza.
Mark Bello of Pizza a Casa pizza school in New York City has offered up a recipe for the perfect Denver Broncos fan pizza: the Denver Omelet Pizza. How did Bello know that all Coloradans -- especially Denverites -- adore the ever-loving sh*t out of our namesake omelet? We can't get enough of 'em, and this pizza recipe is a stroke of genius that is sure to produce the best Denver omelet pizza ever. Don't forget the ketchup garnish at the end!
Here's a selection from the recipe: "Toss onion, green pepper and mushrooms in olive oil. Set aside. Stretch dough to desired diameter (12" thicker, 14" thinner), and lay on a lightly oiled cookie sheet, pizza pan or screen. Evenly distribute ham, onion, pepper and mushrooms, all to about 1/2" from the border of crust. Bake for 8-10 minutes. While baking, scramble eggs and grated cheese. After initial 6-8 minute bake, remove pizza from oven. Carefully pour on egg mixture, evenly sprinkle on shredded cheddar, then gently ease back into oven and bake for about 4-7 more minutes until eggs are set. Out of the oven, add black pepper, hot sauce, ketchup and/or whatever you like to add to your omelet. Let rest a few minutes, and then cut, serve and enjoy."
4. Get a ritzy carryout pizza from Elway's...without the crust
Technically, former Broncos quarterback John Elway's restaurants don't have pizza on their menus. But I bet a shiny, diamond-studded Super Bowl ring that most Bronco fans don't care about the crust, anyway, so they can just order takeout from Elway and pretend there's crust at the bottom -- or just load everything on some duck confit. Put that expense-account card to good use by ordering such pizza toppings as grilled artichokes, Dungeness crab, Mexican white shrimp, lobster tails, oysters on the half shell and rack of lamb; top it off with a drizzle of white truffle oil.
3. Support Peyton Manning -- get some Papa John's pizza.
Current Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning is a spokesman for Papa John's, and last fall he bought 21 Papa John's franchise stores in Denver. Papa's has been tackled in the media lately for company CEO John Schnatter's public statements about Obamacare (in case you live in a cave, Schnatter's not a fan of giving up the dough for employee health-care benefits), but thus far Manning has managed to avoid being the target of ire. So if you can forget Schnatter's ill-advised and seriously douchey mouth-spooge and focus on making sure Manning can feed, clothe, matriculate and gold-plate his kids, you can order a bunch of pizzas for the game with extra sides of that possibly-butter-garlic-goop.
And Manning's cheesy pizza commercials are still free of charge.
2. Do a DIY Broncos fan pizza at home.
Creating a homemade pizza for game day can't be that difficult, right? There are plenty of orange and blue toppings to decorate a pie with, like......okay, pepperoni grease is orange, and blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers are blue. Maybe not so much with the color-coordinated toppings, but how about using some good old-fashioned food coloring to make the dough all blue and orange swirly? The good thing about food coloring is that if you use a couple of drops, you can color a pile of pizza dough the size of a motor vehicle. The bad thing about food coloring is that it tends to get everywhere and stain everything it touches, including your hands. Having orange and blue meat mitts is a small price to pay for being a loyal, dedicated Broncos fan, but if you decide to go the crust-colors route you should probably leave off masturbating for a few days afterwards. Unless of course, you are a true fan right down to your crotch.
1. Just have a Sexy Pizza pie delivered.
So if you are a vile, horrible traitor to all of Colorado - especially Denver -- and don't want to make a Denver omelet pizza, you are way too economically underprivileged to order from Elway's, don't wanna give John Schnatter your money so he can not spend it on his employee's health care, and don't care to walk around for a week after the Super Bowl with orange and blue junk, then you can do the best thing possible for yourself and your Super Bowl party guests and call Sexy Pizza. Those local Denver cats make a helluva fine eggplant parmigiana pie, and their specialty SAFER pizza has basil, tomatoes, garlic, feta and mozzarella -- and $1 from every pizza purchase is donated to support a pro-marijuana education non-profit group.
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Order some pizzas, tip your delivery driver, and fire up your own "super bowl."