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With booze, chefs and booze, it will be a Menu Affair to remember

So, what are you doing Wednesday night? Nothing? Good, because I’ve got something that’ll get you up off the couch and out on the town. How ‘bout a chance to see Solera’s Goose Sorensen and James Mazzio from Via going head-to-head in this year’s Mile High Chef competition at Westword's Menu Affair?

Not good enough? Well, how ‘bout this. The Food Network’s Keegan Gerhard, owner and chef at D Bar Desserts, will be there doing what he does second-best: MC’ing the whole shebang, blinding the first six rows with his TV-show smile and taunting the contestants.

Still not enough? Jesus, you people are hard to please. Okay, how ‘bout me, wearing a Mexican wrestler’s mask, in my alternate persona as Eduardo el Magnifico, judging the competition (along with a couple of friends) and making sure that no one (but especially Goose) tries any funny business up on stage?

Okay, fine. What about seven open bars running from 7 p.m. until you degenerate animals drink the place dry?

Yeah, that got ya. Do I know my fans, or what? But for the rest of you, remember that this is your chance to watch two of Denver’s most talented chefs, the closest thing we have to a food-world celebrity and me participate in an event that almost always collapses into some sort of booze-fueled disaster live in front of a couple thousand people. Last year, some drunken prick picked a fight and threatened to stab me on stage. Three years ago, no one thought to bring plates for the chefs to serve their food on.

It’s gonna be a blast.

All the fun kicks off at 7 p.m. tomorrow at the Fillmore, 1510 Clarkson. Tickets are just thirty bucks in advance, $40 at the door. See ya at the show…-- Eduardo el Magnifico

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