When we discovered last week that our Tony's Market 10-percent-off coupon excluded "meat bundles," the editor's meeting pretty much went downhill from there -- so much so that we thought, "What the hell? Why not have a contest?"
So we decided to give away one meat bundle to the reader who could come up with the most inspired guess as to what a meat bundle might entail -- and our readers came through. Many guesses were hilarious (others were vaguely unsettling), and there's no doubt it was tough to choose just one. All the same, choose we must. And so, without further ado, the meat bundle goes to...
Just kidding. First off, let's take a look at a couple of runners up.
We liked where Der Perfessor was going with this pop-culture reference:
Meat Bundle: how Lady Gaga wraps her old newspapers to set out for recycling pickup
And honorable mention goes to Marin, who managed to make us feel a little uncomfortable:
In progressive Amish cultures, meat bundling is a courtship ritual between gay men.
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SHOW ME HOW
But we ultimately had to give it up to Britt, whose concise wording and sly use of mathematical symbols as punctuation made for a guess that was at once succinct, hilarious and, oddly, a little heartbreaking:
Meat Bundle = My Friday Night
Congratulations, Britt. Your life apparently sucks, but at least now you'll be spending your next Friday night with two meat bundles instead of the usual one. To claim your dubious prize, e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org and we'll get you set up.
Until then, save your appetite for the...never mind.