But to those people we say: You are dead inside, sir! For are we not men? Are we not wild, fabulous men? Men who enjoy feasting, and whose relatives keep telling us we have a drinking problem, but they just don't understand us? Indeed. Luckily for us, there are plenty of completely made-up holidays to tide us over until Martin Luther King day.
Note that every holiday listed below has no basis for being a holiday beyond that somebody out there christened it so -- these are just the ones we could find some reference to on the internets. But if none of these suit you, feel free to just make up your own -- like "Stay at Home and Drink Vodka out of a Camel Pack while Watching Animal Planet Day," which is pretty much your day anyway -- and your holiday is no less valid than the ones these people made up. What, they think they're better than you or something?
Monday: Peculiar people day
Tuesday: International "Thank You" day Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day National Clean off your Desk Day
Wednesday: Feast of Fabulous Wild Men Day National Pharmacist Day
Thursday: Make Your Dream Come True Day International Skeptics Day (some disagreement on actual celebration day) Rubber Duckie Day
Friday: Ratification Day Dress up Your Pet Day
Saturday: National Hat Day International Fetish Day (you dressed up your pet yesterday, so pick a different one)
Sunday: National Nothing Day
Yeah, we know, National Nothing Day sounds like kind of a rip-off, but look on the bright side: After National Hat Day, you're probably going to need it.
